Father: Did you wash your hands?
Five-year-old kid returning from bathroom: Ummm… I’m pretty sure I didn’t get poop on them.
Dental office
Tigard, Oregon
Overheard by: Robin
Father: Did you wash your hands?
Five-year-old kid returning from bathroom: Ummm… I’m pretty sure I didn’t get poop on them.
Dental office
Tigard, Oregon
Overheard by: Robin
Mother: Do they sell headboards here? I think you should get one that’s attached to the wall. They look better.
Young child: I don’t think I’m ready for that kind of commitment.
Home Depot
Perrysburg, Ohio
Overheard by: Treesha
New mom: The days go by so fast now that I’m so preoccupied with… pumping.
Hudson St
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Woman: My daughter is 16.
Guy: Wow, she’s almost grown.
Woman: I know — in two years she’ll be out of the house. I almost wish she had Down Syndrome so she would have to live with me forever.
Davenport, Iowa
Seven-year-old coworker's daughter: You're a loser!
28-year-old office worker: Well, you're Barack Obama!
Seven-year-old coworker's daughter: You're John McCain!
28-year-old office worker: You're Sarah Palin!
Seven-year-old coworker's daughter: Well…you're Ashley Tisdale!!
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: three_eyed_fish
Mother: Sweetie, do you need to pee-pee?
3-Year-Old girl: Mom, why do you call it that? It’s piss!
12350 Jefferson Avenue
Newport News, Virginia
Very pregnant elementary school teacher: God, I hate screaming kids!
1 Raider Circle
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Fellow Teacher
Mother to small child: I already spent all of my money on your face.
Halifax, Nova Scotia
Canadia
Overheard by: beckz
Young wife sighing: All I pray for is a gay son.
Husband: All our sons will be straight.
Young wife: Just the youngest one can be gay. I need one gay son. You won’t even notice.
Husband: No, it won’t happen. Costa Ricans don’t have gay sons. And I want my name passed on.
Young wife: I’ll wait until you go to work, then put makeup and heels on him and let him be himself. I need someone to talk to when you are gone.
Sandwich shop
Woodcliff Lake, New Jersey
Large woman to laughing four-year-old boy outside Golden Corral buffet: What do you mean that wasn't a hot dog you showed me?
Lexington, Kentucky
