Employee: Someone just called me. They said, “Hello,” and asked if I could help them because they had a question. I didn’t know what to do, so I said, “No,” and hung up. Was that okay?
Boss: I guess that’s one way of handling it.
US Patent and Trademark Office
Alexandria, Virginia
Overheard by: Why Me?
Co-Worker on phone: So I was throwing up in the bathroom, and my three best friends were having sex in the stall next to me.
1601 Cloverfield Boulevard
Santa Monica, California
Co-Worker, on phone: When were the children terminated?…Were they terminated here in Tulsa? I’ll need to see a copy of that order.
41st and Mingo
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Hostess: Thank you for calling Napa 29, how can I help you?…I’m sorry, sir, this is a restaurant, not an auto parts store…No sir, this is not Napa Auto Parts…No, sir…Sir, this is a restaurant. I don’t know how much a carburetor costs…Sir, I really don’t…Three hundred dollars and eighty nine cents…Yes, sir. Have a nice evening.
280 Teller Street, Suite 130
Corona, California
Overheard by: Sara
Woman on the phone in the HEAT assistance office: I can’t talk right now, I’m in HEAT.
533 East 26th Street
Ogden, Utah
Overheard by: I see it Now
Employee on phone: I was picking a booger out of my nose before and lost it, and I didn’t know where it went and I just found it on my finger.
390 Sixth Street
Huntington, New York
Nurse on phone: I’m sorry, she said she doesn’t want to talk to you… Uh huh… Well, we can’t make a patient talk to someone on the phone… I’m sorry, that’s what she said. You’re her husband, right? Oh, you’re her mother! Just a moment, please.
10 Medical Center Boulevard
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Boss on phone with IT: How do I see my future emails?
1246 Princeton Street
Akron, Ohio
Employee on phone: Wait, let me read you the email he sent out this morning: “Just a reminder that today, like every Friday, is acquittals day. So acquit, acquit, acquit away, and keep the frightening audits at bay.” Yep, poetry…See? This is why I’m leaving.
Elizabeth Street
Sydney, Australia
Overheard by: Tigertail
Secretary: So, the next time you shut the door to take one of your sex calls, I’m going to nail it closed!
311 Main Road
Point Mugu, California
Overheard by: mookie
