Boss: If it weren't inappropriate and illegal, I would hug and kiss you right now.
Assistant: (awkward laugh)
Los Angeles, California
Boss: If it weren't inappropriate and illegal, I would hug and kiss you right now.
Assistant: (awkward laugh)
Los Angeles, California
Cube dweller: So, do you have any policies about bodily functions?
1800 City Circle
Las Vegas, Nevada
New supervisor: I'm not sure how to code one of my employees. She's been out for over a week with a medical condition.
HR assistant: You should talk to Dave*. He's the STD expert.
New supervisor: It's not that kind of a condition…
HR assistant: I meant “Short Term Disability.”
Santa Fe, New Mexico
Overheard by: Jeannie
Service Manager: Really, you have to stop bring these back to me.
Office chick: No, you just need to do them right in the first place.
215 US Route 1
Falmouth, Maine
Employee: Welcome to ABC Theaters*. What can I do for you today?
Collegiate: Do you have a student discount?
Employee: I’m sorry, sir, ABC does not believe in education.
299 Swannanoa River Road
Asheville, North Carolina
Overheard by: Got my GED
Female coworker #1: Stop pouting. That might be appropriate behavior with a sexual partner, but it isn't appropriate among your coworkers.
Female coworker #2: If I offer you sexual favors, would that make it okay?
Manhattan, New York
Co-worker: I want my job to be the guy who kicks George Bush in the face all day, only stopping to make out with him.
50 Main Street
Hackensack, New Jersey
Manager: Tell him we can sell it to him for 15,500.
Sales Rep: But we own it for, like, 21,600!
Manager: I know! But he ain’t gonna buy it anyway!
Sales Rep: But what if he says “I’ll take it!”? Then what?
Manager: Then you’re fucked!
Sales Rep: Why am I fucked?
Manager: Cause you’re the one telling him it’s 15-fucking-5!
3243 Paxton Street
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Doug Pintarch
Supervisor to worker: But why does it always have to be you!?
Norristown, Pennsylvania
Female coworker: Can I ask you a question?
AP clerk: I'm not allowed to answer questions anymore.
Female coworker: Never? Regardless of what the question is?
AP clerk: That's what they told me.
Deerfield, Illinois
