Co-worker: Wow! Look at the wind!
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Co-worker: Wow! Look at the wind!
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Sales person: Hmmm… Are you doing the billing today since Sherry* is out?
Trainee: I’m going to try.
Sales person: Well, don’t mess up my billing or I’ll kick your ass.
Trainee: Promise?
Sales person: Oh, yes.
Trainee: My pain is your pleasure.
Sales person: You and I will get along fine.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Avis clerk: I just love your little beanie!
Jewish guy: It’s actually called a yarmulke. I’m Jewish, and all Jewish men wear them.
Avis clerk: Oh! Well, you have yourself a merry Christmas!
Charlotte Airport, North Carolina
Overheard by: Renjeau
Tech #1: Is Victor* here?
Tech #2: No–if I'm here it means Victor's in Chapel Hill.
Tech #1: Oh, I was going to tell him there's a butterfly outside.
Tech #2: A butterfly?
Tech #1: I know how he likes them.
Tech #2: Is it big?
Tech #1: It's a good one.
Tech #2: I'd like to go look.
(they both leave)
North Carolina
Coworker on phone: Well, we just have to have choices because he is a vegetarian. (pause) Yeah, milk is okay, it's dairy, just no turkey or ham. (pause) Sure, eggs are fine, that's dairy. (pause) Well, I mean, it's fine, it hasn't been born yet!
Charlotte, North Carolina
Woman (after manager jokingly pats her on the back): Hey, don’t be coming in here hitting me!
Manager: No, no, I wouldn’t do that. I haven’t hit a woman in a long time. You know when the last time I hit a woman was? It was my ex-wife, and it was goooooood. I spent two days in jail, but it was worth it. It was soooo worth it. They had to wire her jaw shut. Six weeks. Six weeks of silence.
Woman: That’s nice, but could you leave now, please?”
Wilmington, North Carolina
Coworker: You are very bright today.
QC guy in yellow shirt: Oh, why thank you.
Coworker, walking away: And I don’t mean that in the mental sense.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
IT Consultant Guy: You gotta stop answering the phones all sexy. No one else can concentrate.
2620 Hillsborough Street
Raleigh, North Carolina
Overheard by: Office Kitty
Professor: Yeah, my daughter’s having a slumber party tonight. She invited eight girls, but one of them can’t come because she’s a Jew.
Grad student: Oh…
Professor: I mean, because there’s a Jewish holiday this weekend she has to observe.
Grad student: Oh, okay. Not because you don’t allow them in your home…
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Dude #1: I have a massive penis.
Dude #2: Dude, you don’t even have pubes!
Dude #1: Want me to pull one out?
Dude #3: Do you have no shame?! Do you think God stops watching you at the lunch table?! And, Coco, you know you have an average-size penis.
Gaston Christian School, 1222 North Hope Road
Gastonia, North Carolina
