Worship leader: So, we’re gonna drop the last verse of ‘Awesome God.’ I think it sounds better that way.
Pastor: Okay, anything else?
Young worship musician: Well, I gotta blow outta here pretty soon.
Pastor: So, let me get this straight — he’s dropping and you’re blowing?
Charlotte, North Carolina
Admin #1: Oooh, there’s cheesecake in the fridge!
Admin #2: I don’t really like cheesecake.
Admin #1: There’s pecan pie, too.
Admin #2: I only like pecan pie if I make it.
Admin #1: What?!
Admin #2: I said, I only like pecan pie if I make it.
Admin #1: Oh! I thought you said ‘if I’m naked’!
619 Dolley Madison Road
Greensboro, North Carolina
Overheard by: Not the receptionist
Director: There's an anti-harassment meeting tomorrow with the VP, so please no herpes jokes.
Sales rep: Okay.
Director: And no calling Kevin a pussy.
Sales rep: That was you!
Director: Yeah, but you were thinking it.
Charlotte, North Carolina
Cubicle #1: Why is Jim* here!?
Cubicle #2: Because he works here?
England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Coworker: Have a good day, Susan*.
Susan*: Jesus is going to get her.
Raleigh, North Carolina
Program manager on phone: Have you thought of marrying this chick? (pause) Does she give good head? (pause) Okay, is she willing to learn?
North Carolina
Secretary on her first day: So, I should only delete the messages I don't want to keep?
Raleigh, North Carolina
Girl reporter: So he said, ‘I hope you people fall into acid!’ Who wishes that?
Guy reporter: Wow, intense.
Girl reporter: Yeah. But the logistics — who fills the baby pool with acid?
Guy reporter: The terminator fell into acid in T2.
Girl reporter: The Riddler… No, the Joker fell into acid.
Guy reporter: He lived though.
Girl reporter: And tried to kill Batman. So, see? People falling into acid works out badly for the rest of us.
500 West Jefferson Street
Monroe, North Carolina
Assistant: I went to the grocery store this past weekend. Do you know my kids drank five two-liters of Pepsi since then? Three and a half kids drank five bottles of Pepsi.
Sales guy: What’d you do with the other half a kid? … That must have been awful!
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Coworker, about his BlackBerry: Hey, that helped! That really helped my ball. Blowing on it really helps!
Asheville, North Carolina
Overheard by: Blake
