North Carolina

Secretary on her first day: So, I should only delete the messages I don't want to keep?

Raleigh, North Carolina

Girl reporter: So he said, ‘I hope you people fall into acid!’ Who wishes that?
Guy reporter: Wow, intense.
Girl reporter: Yeah. But the logistics — who fills the baby pool with acid?
Guy reporter: The terminator fell into acid in T2.
Girl reporter: The Riddler… No, the Joker fell into acid.
Guy reporter: He lived though.
Girl reporter: And tried to kill Batman. So, see? People falling into acid works out badly for the rest of us.

500 West Jefferson Street
Monroe, North Carolina

Assistant: I went to the grocery store this past weekend. Do you know my kids drank five two-liters of Pepsi since then? Three and a half kids drank five bottles of Pepsi.
Sales guy: What’d you do with the other half a kid? … That must have been awful!

8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

Coworker, about his BlackBerry: Hey, that helped! That really helped my ball. Blowing on it really helps!

Asheville, North Carolina

Overheard by: Blake

GRE taker #1: That math section sure was hard.
GRE taker #2: Yeah, I was real confused with the angle-side-angle calculations.
GRE taker #1: I thought it was tough, too, but thankfully I took astrology last semester.

Fayetteville State University
Fayetteville, North Carolina

State senator, addressing the senate about DNA swabbing: Of course it's invasive, you're sticking something in someone else's mouth!

State Senate
Raleigh, North Carolina

Sales guy on phone with admin: Is the printer still down? Mm-hmmm. Well, if I needed something printed today, could you, like, hand-print it or something? Mm-hmmm. I see. Okay, thanks.

8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

CFO to staff: You are the tools who get things done…

Raleigh Road
Raleigh, North Carolina

Overheard by: tool

Middle management: Hey, I like your tie. It looks very vintage.
Regular employee: “Vintage”…Yeah, hey I like that! That sounds great!

Later, at lunch.

Regular employee: Hey, guys, check this out! I just put cheese on my soup. Now that is vintage!

Raleigh, North Carolina

Nerdy barista #1, excitedly: Yeah, she said she wanted to hang out later!
Nerdy barista #2: Your life is like Tetris; all the pieces are falling into place.

Durham, North Carolina

Overheard by: nes