Now Tell Me the Account Number.

Exec, yelling over speakerphone: Michelle, what's my PayPal password?
Michelle: Michelle2.
Exec, still yelling: Michelle2?
Michelle: Yep.

Manhattan, New York

Posted on June 8, 2015
Admins, Executives, Names, New York, Questions, Words

2PM Swearing In

Court officer speaking to almost-admitted attorneys awaiting ceremony: And when you stand, don’t lock your knees or stand up straight, just relax and kind of hunch over, we don’t want anyone to collapse — it has happened before, and it is like attorney dominoes…

45 Monroe Place
Brooklyn, New York

Overheard by: Lans

Posted on June 4, 2015
Advice, Body Parts, Coworkers, Health & Hygiene, Legal, New York

Sure You Don't Want a Venti?

Barista: What can I get you, sir?
Customer: I'll have a grande toffee…
Barista: I'm sorry, sir, we do not have any toffee items in the shop any more.
Customer: Then I'll just have a large broken dream.

Starbucks
Manhattan, New York

Posted on June 4, 2015
Customers, Employees, Feelings, Meals and Snacks, New York, Questions

1PM Lunch

Worker #1: This has high-fructose corn syrup.
Worker #2: So you’re drinking colored sugar water.
Worker #1: This doesn’t even contain water.
Worker #2: What’s the first ingredient?
Worker #1: Oh.

1 Liberty Plaza
New York, NY

Posted on June 4, 2015
Coworkers, General Idiocy, Gripes, Meals and Snacks, New York

Then I Wake Up in the Hospital

Sales rep: Gotta get some PCP, it really helps me get through the day.

Software Company
Buffalo, New York

Posted on June 4, 2015
New York, Sales, Sensory Experiences, Substance Use & Abuse

Oh, Okay — Didn’t Know It Was That Kind of Shower

Lady on phone: He’s going to the baby shower? Holy shit. I know he’s gay, but he has a penis.

825 7th Avenue
New York, New York

Overheard by: Tami D’Intern

Posted on June 3, 2015
Gripes, New York, On the phone

When Art-History Majors Enter the Workforce

Teller #1: How am I over my cash limit? I just transferred you $30,000!
Teller #2: Did you put the transfer through right?
Teller #1: Yeah! I had $60,000. How am I still over my limit of $20,000?
Teller #2: You had $60,000.
Teller #1: Yes.
Teller #2: And you transferred me $30,000.
Teller #1: Uh huh.
Teller #2: What does that leave you with?
Teller #1: Oooooh…

Buffalo, New York

Overheard by: They handle your money, people!