Coworker #1: Well, Asians make the best trannies.
Coworker #2: Yeah, why is that?
Hudson Street
New York City, New York
Coworker #1: I pooped in my pants once. But I was in pre-k. I was lying down at naptime, and then all of a sudden, I felt it come out, and I started crying.
Coworker #2: I peed in my pants once. At work.
Broadway & Canal
New York City, New York
Overheard by: office peon
Implementation person: I usually don’t get pregnant from moving into a new apartment.
Operations person: But that’s the first step, though.
1 Liberty Plaza
New York, New York
Chinese coworker: Where did my customer go? She was there a minute ago and now she’s disappeared.
White coworker: She probably went to the bathroom.
Chinese coworker: Maybe her baby was drowning in the bathroom and she had to go rescue it.
White coworker, after long pause: What the fuck is that, an old Chinese proverb?
50th Street and 3rd Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: cp
Coworker: Apparently, according to German law, I'm entitled to a castle.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Matt McLaughlin
Young broker to assistant, looking out the window: Wow! I hope you brought an umbrella!
Assistant to broker: Yeah, I think I have one.
Broker to assistant: I hope you also brought a different shirt!
(assistant wearing beige silk blouse ignores comment)
Broker, mumbling: Yeaaah, wet t-shirt contest!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: FELAGO!
Manager roaming the halls: I want to hurt somebody.
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Dave
Boss at computer: So, when you say “inbox”… What exactly do you mean by that?
Manhattan, New York
Female secretary: Anybody need a really big box? Cause I got one! (pauses, then everybody in the room starts giggling) Oh, grow up!
6th Ave
New York, New York
Overheard by: Joshy Sweetpants
President: I don't care if he shoved it up his ass to see if it would come out of his mouth! It doesn't fuckin' matter!
Elmsford, New York
Overheard by: Bored Beyond Belief
