Worker: So, what's the plan for today?
Boss (loudly): Same thing as always. (now quietly) …try to take over the world.
Brooklyn Army Terminal
New York City, New York
Worker: So, what's the plan for today?
Boss (loudly): Same thing as always. (now quietly) …try to take over the world.
Brooklyn Army Terminal
New York City, New York
Cube dweller: You sonofabitch, you’re getting a goddamn manicure! If you don’t, I’m going to rip your goddamn nails off, because you don’t deserve them!
Office, Soho
New York, New York
Overheard by: Nervous Co-worker
Boss: What’s your password? I want to sign in and test the new system we set up.
Office gal: ‘Detonate.’
Boss: [Silence.]Office gal: What? I like typing ‘Detonate’ and hitting ‘Enter’! It’s extremely satisfying!
60 East 42nd Street
New York, New York
Tech: I am a guacamole of knowledge into which you may dip the nacho of need.
105 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Boss looking at her new laptop: There are too many keys.
Bank
New York
Overheard by: Tjay
Boss, loudly after ten minutes of silence: Anyone got hot fudge?
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: joe marks
Administrator #1: Well, here's our wreath, and the lights…
Administrator #2: Wait til she sees what I did to the angel.
Administrator #3: What?
Administrator #2: She wasn't here last Christmas, she didn't see it.
(five minutes later)
Administrator #1: Who drew a mustache on the angel?
Fordham University
New York
Male coworker: Someone just called me “sir.”
Female coworker: What's wrong with that?
Male coworker: It's the same with “ma'am.” Once you are called “sir” you know you have lost all sexual appeal.
13th Street
Manhattan, New York
Coworker #1, as coworker #2 comes in late: Oh, hi! I thought you were in a ditch or something.
Coworker #2: Ooh, I wish!
5th Avenue
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Devil Spanker
Office genius: I don't always know what I'm talking about. I often don't know what I'm talking about. But it pisses me off when I do know what I'm talking about and people don't believe me.
Plainsboro, New Jersey
