Boss: Well, I’m outta here! Too bad you have to stay!
Janitor: You’re not letting him leave early?
Boss: No. I’m the boss. I get to go. He has to stay.
Janitor: Okay. Well, bye.
Boss: Bye! [He leaves]Janitor: So you’re leaving in five minutes, right?
Employee: I’ll wait ’til he clears the building.
59 Maiden Lane
New York, New York
Boss man: We need a lawyer to handle this. If it were 5 years ago, I’d call my brother. He was the one of the best lawyers in the country, but he can’t help me anymore because he’s been disbarred.
Midtown
New York, New York
Employee: I didn’t ask to be employee of the month — the mantle was thrust upon me!
Housewares store
New York, New York
Overheard by: Tigertail
Suit: When are you going to wear that neon green shirt?
Businesswoman: Oh, that shirt. He said he didn’t like it, so I looked at it and I thought, “You know what? He’s right!” It was hideous! So I went right away to that flea market place? The thrift store. Now someone else can wear it. Probably some homeless lady! Ha, ha, ha!
350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Manager: Ok. Since it seems like [Dougie] doesn’t want to be a part of the team and show up for meetings, [Steve], from now on, when you send out meeting requests, make sure the invitation is sent to him personally.
[Steve]: So basically, I should click a few more times to enable this otherwise unacceptable behavior?Manager: Right.
[Steve]: Got it.214 West 39th Street
New York, New York
Customer: I need fabric.
CSR: OK. What type of fabric do you need?
Customer: I need fabric.
CSR: Um, could you be more specific?
Customer: I need fabric that looks like cloth.
425 West 15th Street
New York, NY
Co-worker #1: Can I borrow a colored pen?
Co-worker #2: Here’s a red one, but I may need it later for drawing fire.
525 7th Avenue
New York, NY
Employee: No one saw who took my chair? I hope I have crabs.
345 Broadway
New York City
