Irish trader: There are always girls crying and falling over when I haven’t even touched them.
New York City, New York
Shocked security guard: You gave it to me?! You gave me the cooties!
28 East 28th Street
New York, New York
Secretary #1: Has anyone used the shredder this morning?
Secretary #2: No, why?
Secretary #1: I need to get something back that I put in there this morning.
278 Morgan Street
Tonawanda, New York
Dumb girl: I'm really good at those things.
Supportive guy: What things?
Dumb girl: Those things, like with the letters. Like Roy G Biv and stuff like that.
Supportive guy: Oh, like mnemonic devices. That's good.
Asshole guy: So do you know what an i-d-i-o-t is?
Dumb girl: Uh… (thinks)… Shit! No!
Asshole guy: That's, like, really important for our job. You have to know an i-d-i-o-t.
Dumb girl: But I don't! Crap!
Hempstead Turnpike
Wantagh, New York
Overheard by: Kim, the Anit-Idiot.
DBA: You’re going to have to be more explicit when you say what you don’t mean.
33rd floor, 1250 Broadway
New York, New York
Overheard by: Charliegator
New girl to male employee: Teach me how to say something sexy in Spanish.
Male employee: Okay. Like what?
New girl: How about “put your dick in my mouth”?
Spa
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Can't Wait Till i Leave
Starbucks barista: You know why they are called “naked juices”?
20-something: Excuse me?
Starbucks barista: They sprinkle just a little bit of E in them… Next thing you know you're feeling up on yourself, then next thing you know you're naked.
20-something: Uhhh…
Starbucks barista: I'm high as balls right now, man.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: College Student
Editor #1: He said he had a big one.
Editor #2: Big what?
Editor #1: Brain!
12 West 27th Street
New York, NY
Male financial analyst: I’m having trouble counting to eighteen right now.
Wall Street
New York City, New York
Boss: We're going to have to stroke his penis.
Downtown Brooklyn
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Miss Blige
