Woman at table with large group: We had so much fun on vacation with the kids.
Man next to her: Wouldn't it have been more fun without the kids?
Woman: What? Why, don't you like kids?
Man: Nah, not really. I've never liked kids. I don't know how pedophiles do it.
Restaurant
Detroit, Michigan
Overheard by: PeterG
Man, to woman he accidentally bumped into in elevator: Sorry, didn't mean to nail you like that!
Lansing, Michigan
Crazy coworker: If my kid pooped in the closet, I'd rub his nose in it. “No! Bad!”
Sane female coworker: Your kids are going to be taken away by the state.
Sane male coworker: There's not even a question.
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Overheard by: Playtah
CFO: So, who should we screw today?
Novi, Michigan
Subscriptions coordinator: We are hundreds of renewal letters behind–how am I supposed to send all of these out?
Zealous, oblivious manager: We'll get the whole department to help stuff envelopes. We can all be bent over a barrel at a stuffing orgy together! It will be an orgy of stuffing!
East Lansing, Michigan
Overheard by: Louise
Male creepy marketing director, asking how to change copier's toner: So you just pull it out and shove it in?
Female office manager: (sigh)
Royal Oak, Michigan
Male coworker: So, I met my brother's married Russian fiancee over the weekend…
Female coworker: Those four words should never be in the same sentence!
Rochester Hills, Michigan
Overheard by: KDog
Family: Well, let me ask you this, I mean, she won't look dead, right? I've seen some bodies that look like they are dead and I think that is awful, how do you make the deceased not look “that” way?
Director: Uuuhhmmmmm, well, uhhh, huh?
Funeral Home
Detroit, Michigan
Intern to boss: Ya ever just wanna work with no pants on?
Royal Oak, Michigan
Project manager #1: Do you want something to suck on?
Project manager #2: Like a tea bag?
Troy, Michigan
Overheard by: Mortgage Whisperer
