Boss, answering cell: Hello? (pause) Yeah, I just wanted to check if you were wearing pants today.
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Assistant: A tree fell right on her house, so she said she won't be in today.
Supervisor: I wish a tree would fall on my house. I want a new kitchen so bad.
Hospital
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Customer: Have a nice Passover.
Coworker #1: What's “Passover” mean?
Coworker #2: It means she's Jewish.
Coworker #1: Oh. It sounded like something naughty.
Troy, Michigan
Boss on cell: Drink the Kool-Aid, wear the underwear.
Presque Isle, Michigan
Overheard by: wtf
Woman to group: Yeah, so she had her baby through c-section.
Surprised woman, interrupting: C-section? Why?
Woman: I don't know, maybe they glued her clitter shut.
Serious woman: Nice, Jane.
Michigan
Coworker #1: The system won't let me type any letters in the credit field of my insurance quote.
Coworker #2: Have you tried confessing your darkest sins to the Lord and trying again?
Coworker #1: I'll just have the help desk do it.
Caledonia, Michigan
Overheard by: Playtah
Coworker #1, looking at coworker #2's plant: Horticulture and philosophy go hand in hand.
Coworker #2: Good luck with life.
Caledonia, Michigan
Overheard by: Playtah
Woman at table with large group: We had so much fun on vacation with the kids.
Man next to her: Wouldn't it have been more fun without the kids?
Woman: What? Why, don't you like kids?
Man: Nah, not really. I've never liked kids. I don't know how pedophiles do it.
Restaurant
Detroit, Michigan
Overheard by: PeterG
Man, to woman he accidentally bumped into in elevator: Sorry, didn't mean to nail you like that!
Lansing, Michigan
Crazy coworker: If my kid pooped in the closet, I'd rub his nose in it. “No! Bad!”
Sane female coworker: Your kids are going to be taken away by the state.
Sane male coworker: There's not even a question.
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Overheard by: Playtah
