Boss on phone: What do you mean she's canceling the meeting? (pause) Delayed? Why? (pause) She has breast cancer? That's great! (pause) Oh no! I must have cut out, I said “that's a great tragedy.” (pause) Well, that must be awful. (pause) I see, well, send her my best. (pause) Thank you, bye now. (to entire office) Cancer just saved my ass! Who wants to go for drinks?
Chinatown
Manhattan, New York
Manager to HR rep entering conference with bigwigs: What are you doing here?
HR rep: You just told me to walk down here with you.
Manager: Oh, well. (continues talking, HR rep walks away)
King of Prussia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by:
Office drone, after extremely serious meeting: We should all go on a picnic!
Downtown Los Angeles, California
Programmer #1: Oh, man, the PHP meet-up is at a TV shop.
Programmer #3: Yeah, Walt's TV.
Programmer #2: Do you think they have food there?
Programmer #1: I think they have TVs there.
Mesa, Arizona
Overheard by: Chris Cardinal
Pushy boss: Go on! Get in there! It's a meet-and-greet! Don't you want to meet the folks you'll be servicing?
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Waiting to be Serviced
Boss, about to hang up on someone calling into the meeting: Is there anything else?
Colleague: No, I think I'm done.
Boss: Good, 'cause I got my finger on the button over here. I feel like the little boy with his finger in the dike.
Washington, DC
Event coordinator, after stuttering to clients during meeting: I'm sorry, I must have left my mouth in my other pants.
Lincoln, Nebraska
Overheard by: Complete Composure
Lady worker: Okay. So I have my people coming for the work party, you just need to take care of the volcano.
Guy: Oh yeah! Right.
Washington State
Guy #1, during department meeting at adult industry company: The homemade video clips of everyday guys jacking off are actually making a lot of money, provided they're adequately equipped.
Guy #2: I know what I'm doing tonight!
Girl: Praying for a bigger penis?
Charlotte, North Carolina
Coworker, during department-wide meeting: I didn't get that e-mail.
Clueless admin: Did you check your junk? Always check your junk. I never put anything in my junk.
Wilmington, North Carolina
Overheard by: L
