Serious colleague, on less-serious colleague: It was his history of being a jerk that made me unable to determine whether he was sincere.
Nashville, Tennessee
Vendor: I don't want to get into some whole “he said, she said” situation.
Client: What are you talking about? There is only a “he said,” and you're the “he,” and you're a dick!
McLean, Virginia
Overheard by: Septimus
Pregnant employee on personal call: I tried to have an ultrasound done but it didn't work out. Nothing to do with the baby–it was my uterus. It's an asshole.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Gwen Styles
Office lady #1: It's so hot in here, I'm sweating like a banshee.
Office lady #2: Banshees scream or screech. You mean you're sweating like a pig.
Office lady #1: Don't call me a pig!
Worcester, Massachusetts
Employee: Can I Borrow a dime?
Boss's Sister: Hold on, I need to remember if that's 5 or 10 cents.
Monaca, Pennsylvania
Attorney: Why did you bill all of these overtime hours?
Paralegal: Because you're a faggot!
Manhattan, New York
Telemarketing girl: New York people are so stupid! I'm so glad I wasn't raised on the West Coast!
Arkansas
Overheard by: random coworker
Annoyed shop assistant, after difficult customer has left: That guy is going straight on my enemies list.
Manager: One for the firing squad, eh?
Annoyed shop assistant: Blood in the streets…
Manager: Yeah, let's purge that son of a bitch.
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Female engineer: They don't have any steel members to erect yet.
Annoying guy: That's what she said!
Female engineer, leaving: No, for the last time, she never said anything. Ever. Now I'm going to call your mother to pick you up after school. Fucking trolls!
Manhattan, New York
