The creators of this site were just on The Brian Lehrer Show (listen here).
As the producer explained to the host who we were and what we’re about, she handed him some printouts of site quotes and ended with: …and don’t say fucktard, obviously.
1 Centre Street
New York, NY
Employee #1: This old fart is so devious and evil that if you lock him up alone in the room he would curse his own self.
Employee #2: Shit, if he was the only person left on this earth he would start building conspiracies with his own balls, trying to antagonize his lefty against the righty.
Winchester, Virginia
Claims adjuster: Sir, insurance companies just don't work like that. (pause) We can't let the body shop do whatever they want. They have to follow an estimate. (pause) Sir. (pause) Well, didn't you just say the shop was full of liars and druggies? (pause) Sir, I'm trying to help you get your car fixed, but you keep calling us druggies and saying that god is going to smite us.
Brentwood, Tennessee
Overheard by: I shouldn't have skipped church yesterday
Store clerk: Hey, that guy you put on line one, was his name Smith*?
CSR #1: Yeah, it was, how'd you know?
Store clerk: Because he's got that “fuck you for helping me” tone of voice.
CSR #2: Who is he?
Store clerk: My mortal enemy.
CSR #1: Well, fuck you very much!
Newton, Massachusetts
Vendor: I don't want to get into some whole “he said, she said” situation.
Client: What are you talking about? There is only a “he said,” and you're the “he,” and you're a dick!
McLean, Virginia
Overheard by: Septimus
Pregnant employee on personal call: I tried to have an ultrasound done but it didn't work out. Nothing to do with the baby–it was my uterus. It's an asshole.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Gwen Styles
Office lady #1: It's so hot in here, I'm sweating like a banshee.
Office lady #2: Banshees scream or screech. You mean you're sweating like a pig.
Office lady #1: Don't call me a pig!
Worcester, Massachusetts
