Male co-worker: You might want to take a few lessons on domestication…Life is unfair, and you’re still a woman.
1999 Avenue of the Stars
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: oink
Male co-worker: You might want to take a few lessons on domestication…Life is unfair, and you’re still a woman.
1999 Avenue of the Stars
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: oink
Customer: Well, maybe I could find something at a lower price that needs fixed up. I do a lot of remodeling work.
Real-estate agent: Sir, if you’re a carpenter you won’t be able to afford anything in this area.
Customer: I’m a contractor and I have more money than I know what to do with. If I say I’m going to climb into your ass and renovate, that’s what I’m going to do.
109 Lafayette Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: Dirtpatch
Co-worker: For a long time I thought [Eric] was a slacker, but now that he’s been sick for three days and my workload is unaffected, I’ve become totally convinced that he does nothing here.
101 Auto Park Circle
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Boss: You know, I’m really glad we hired you. You’re a good sounding board for all this stuff I take in front of clients, because you don’t know anything. So you probably know as much as they do. So whatever confuses you will probably confuse them.
Associate: Uh…
Boss: Exactly.
430 W. 14th Street
New York, NY
The creators of this site were just on The Brian Lehrer Show (listen here).
As the producer explained to the host who we were and what we’re about, she handed him some printouts of site quotes and ended with: …and don’t say fucktard, obviously.
1 Centre Street
New York, NY
Employee #1: This old fart is so devious and evil that if you lock him up alone in the room he would curse his own self.
Employee #2: Shit, if he was the only person left on this earth he would start building conspiracies with his own balls, trying to antagonize his lefty against the righty.
Winchester, Virginia
Claims adjuster: Sir, insurance companies just don't work like that. (pause) We can't let the body shop do whatever they want. They have to follow an estimate. (pause) Sir. (pause) Well, didn't you just say the shop was full of liars and druggies? (pause) Sir, I'm trying to help you get your car fixed, but you keep calling us druggies and saying that god is going to smite us.
Brentwood, Tennessee
Overheard by: I shouldn't have skipped church yesterday
Store clerk: Hey, that guy you put on line one, was his name Smith*?
CSR #1: Yeah, it was, how'd you know?
Store clerk: Because he's got that “fuck you for helping me” tone of voice.
CSR #2: Who is he?
Store clerk: My mortal enemy.
CSR #1: Well, fuck you very much!
Newton, Massachusetts
