Employee #1: Stop saying things like that! There are clients in here!
Employee #2: All I said was “r”!
Employee #1: Yeah, but you said it really loud. And like a pirate!
Lake Forest, California
Overheard by: Suzanne
Employee #1: Stop saying things like that! There are clients in here!
Employee #2: All I said was “r”!
Employee #1: Yeah, but you said it really loud. And like a pirate!
Lake Forest, California
Overheard by: Suzanne
Manager: Man, I hate that rep. Only he has the power to permeate every fiber of my being with his earnest, sniveling, annoying little voice. “I’m sorry.” “Would you mind?” “Is it a problem?” Grow some balls, freak show!
105 Avenue O
Brooklyn, New York
Cabbie yelling out window to guy who cut him off: Your mother is a puta! Your mother is a puta! Your mother is a puta! Your mother is a puta! [Gets out at red light, walks to offender’s car, points his butt at and simulates farting on the car, then gets back into cab and yells out window again.] You have no pee-pee! You have no pee-pee! You have no pee-pee! You have no pee-pee!
Outside White Plains train station
New York
Overheard by: ccampoll
Co-worker #1: So the new governor of New York is legally blind!
Co-worker #2: Yeah, and he’s black. And he’s something else too… Blind, black… And… What else?
Co-worker #3: What else is there?
Burlington, Massachusetts
Recent business school grad: You know, working for this company is not for the weak of heart. There is not a lot of recognition handed out to people.
Senior executive: Recognition? You want recognition? You are a dumbass. How’s that?
Niagara-on-the-Lake, Ontario
Canadia
Sales guy: You know how those lesbian Jews can be! The only thing worse than a lesbian Jew is a lesbian Jew attorney! And I know that, so I can say it.
Glenlake Parkway
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: almost offended… almost
Office peon #1: Last night I had a dream about being attacked by a donkey.
Office peon #2: Oh, I know what your mean: zebras are my Freddy Krueger.
Office peon #1: I know, right? Because they don't even sound like regular fucking horses.
Office peon #2: And they're camouflaged like lightning!
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Best Nature Documentary EVER!
Coworker #1: Was it a Woody Allen movie?
Coworker #2: No, it was a comedy.
1865 Grandstand
Elgin, Illinois
Coworker to another: We're a fucking team here, asshole!
The Woodlands, Texas
Overheard by: Jeremy
Girl: God, she is such a bitch!
Guy, matter-of-factly: Hos gotta be bitches or they get no respect.
540 Baxter Street
Athens, Georgia
