Banker on phone to call center (shouting): I need the washing machine and dryer installed in my house by tonight! This is completely unacceptable. Tonight! Do you understand? This isn't a debate! (now exasperated) It's an emergency: I've got no clean underwear left.
London
England
Overheard by: So many answers, so many questions
(coworker #2 has just returned from a two-hour meeting)
Coworker #1: How was the meeting?
Coworker #2: My hemorrhoids are okay until we get to the 1:45 mark. Then I get that itchy twitchy feeling.
Collegeville, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Lola
Coworker, smelling her armpit: My armpit smells great today. (pauses, smells the other armpit) Almost as good as this one.
Fort Myers, Florida
Overheard by: Greg Dunn
Exec: Hey [Nick], I’ve got a question for you.
Tax Manager: Yes?
Exec: I was thinking about you while I was in the shower this morning and–
Tax Manager: You probably shouldn’t be thinking about me in the
shower [James]; you’re a newly married man.
Exec: …
123 Robert S. Kerr Avenue
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Assistant to another: You ever have someone come up to you and give you a present from their diaper?
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Topsy Krets
Female coworker: I had to go to the chiropractor because I got sandwiched between two fat chicks.
York, Nebraska
Overheard by: Eric J Eckert
Female coworker: I used to spray tan, but they make you orange and then you smell like Chinese food.
Male coworker: Good Chinese food or bad Chinese food?
Female coworker: Not the good kind. And then it gets all dark in the creases, and you get jaundiced knees…
Male coworker: Just what every man wants…the munchies and a sickly white woman.
Female coworker: I wanted to look Italian.
Male coworker: But instead you wound up with jaundice, smelling like Chinese food.
Plaza VII
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Hungry now
Secretary: I thought he was retarded, then I realized he was just very, very Australian.
Montgomery County Courthouse
Norristown, Pennsylvania
Woman: …and the doctor was like, “I’ve never seen so much wax in one ear before!”, and I was like, “Can we just get on with this already? I’m on vacation in Hawaii!”.
1745 Broadway
New York, NY
Male grad student to female TA: Oh, hey! Congratulations on not fracturing your skull!
Geology Department
University of Iowa
Overheard by: Another Grad
