Female coworker #1: I just haven't been feeling well lately.
Female coworker #2: Do you want to suck on something?
Westminster, California
Female coworker #1: I just haven't been feeling well lately.
Female coworker #2: Do you want to suck on something?
Westminster, California
Grad student: How was the meeting?
Neurology professor: It was great, and this time I took really good notes, see? Right here I wrote, “Why is the neurons are gone?”
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Male coworker: What's up with everybody being sick right now?
Female coworker: Seriously! I was sick a few days ago and went to the walk-in clinic. The doctor gave me an antibiotic but I didn't take it. I gave it to my husband because he's sick too.
Male coworker: What do you mean you didn't take it? Why are you being non-compliant with treatment?
Female coworker: Well, this is probably TMI, but I can't take antibiotics. They give me yeast infections.
Columbus, Indiana
Overheard by:
Cube girl: Man, I'll be farting with you!
Corpus Christi, Texas
CEO, farting as he walks by cubes: Excuse me, I just came back from the urologist.
(cube dwellers look at each other in confusion and start to giggle)
Springfield, Virginia
Overheard by: Glad Im Healthy
Flustered admin: Hey guys…does your hand ever get sweaty on the mouse?
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Pod Buddy
Analyst: I don't know if that STD was news to you, but..
Developer: Uh, it is now.
Commerce Park
Reston, Virginia
Overheard by: Not in that division
Cube dweller #1: My cousin was in the hospital last week.
Cube dweller #2: Yeah? My brother was in the hospital last week. He had an operation to remove…ummm, something.
Cube dweller #1: What, his tonsils?
Cube dweller #2: No, it started with “p.”
Cube dweller #1: Oh, gawd, not his prostate?
Cube dweller #2: No… Oh, yeah. It was his pendix.
Tampa, Florida
Department manager to two employees in their 9th month of pregnancies: I simply cannot allow you two to take maternity leave at the same time.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Lynn
Crazy lady: Help! My food has shit all over it! Help!
Young waitress: Wait, what?
Crazy lady: Don't “what” me.
Young waitress: No, really, what's wrong with it? Is it the wrong dish?
Crazy lady: You didn't tell me it had shit in it.
Young waitress: To what are you referring, precisely?
Crazy lady: The shit the shit the shit! (waves hands madly over dish, gesturing at her pasta, covered in a sauce)
Young waitress: Wait, do you mean the sauce?
Crazy lady: Don't “sauce” me!
Northville, Michigan
