Worker: [The boss] treats me like I’m his little daughter or something. That’s a lot of pressure. I can’t be perfect all of the time.
180 East Ocean Boulevard
Long Beach, California
Worker: [The boss] treats me like I’m his little daughter or something. That’s a lot of pressure. I can’t be perfect all of the time.
180 East Ocean Boulevard
Long Beach, California
Girl: So Friday’s your last day?
Guy: Yeah, I’ll be working closer to home. I have an hour long drive to get here from my house.
Girl: Good thing you’ll be working closer to home. Traffic will suck your soul.
800 South Douglas Road
Coral Gables, Florida
Co-worker #1: You should get that fan fixed. It’s really loud.
Co-worker #2: I don’t mind it.
Co-worker #1: It’s really loud.
Co-worker #2: I don’t mind. I just pretend I’m working in my private jet at 30,000 feet. It’s noisy for a computer fan but it’s really quiet for a jet.
2137 Highway 35
Holmdel, New Jersey
Overheard by: Chuck Roast
Plumber #1: So what about Jeanette?
Plumber #2: She pisses me off, man. That bitch pisses me off so much I want to cut her into little pieces. You know what I mean?
Plumber #1: I know what you mean.
Translated from the Spanish.
145 East 35th Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: Spooner
CSR on phone: Sir, would you mind slowing down just a little bit?You’re really giving me a lot of information, and it’s not really
registering in my brain because I’m still trying to type in all the
other crap you told me.
5129 Beverly Glen Village Lane
Norcross, Georgia
Accountant on speaker: Okay, I tried entering my password and it didn’t work.
Tech: I reset it to “password.”
Accountant on speaker: Okay, let me try my password again.
Tech: Make sure you type “password.”
Accountant on speaker: It didn’t work again.
Tech: Iou typed far too many letters for the word “password.” Did you type in “password” as your password?
Accountant on speaker: Yu never told me to do that.
Tech: So what part of my sentance confused you: “Type in the word
‘password’ when it asks you for your password”, or “I reset it for you, your password is now ‘password.'”
Accountant on speaker: I have a CPA, don’t talk to me like that.
Tech: I can make up acronyms too. I’ll be in your office in five
minutes. In the meantime, ponder this one: I’m OMGWTF certified.
220 Woodbine Road
Downingtown, Pennsylvania
Worker: Someone left puke in the toilet. I swear, bulimia should be illegal.
1000 SW Broadway
Portland, Oregon
Co-worker #1: I don’t like space, or astronauts.
Co-worker #2: Why?
Co-worker #1: Well, this one time I was at the Kennedy Space Center when I was a little kid and there was a statue of an astronaut at the end of the museum and when I got close to it, it moved and it really scared me.
Co-worker #2: Ooh, that’s freaky!
Co-worker #1: Yeah. That’s why I don’t like space.
250 Harbor Drive
Stamford, Connecticut
Worker #1: Must be nice to have so much time to put up all these friggin christmas decorations.
Worker #2: You have time. You just never decorate.
Worker #1: That’s right, everyone knows not to touch my area. I’d be pissed if they did.
Worker #2: Hmm…wait till tomorrow, I think I’ll piss you off with some holiday cheer.
Worker #1: Go ahead, I’ll just take it down. What a waste My husband does that crap at home too!
3949 Jefferson Road
Ashtabula, Ohio
