Lady peon on phone: I don’t know… That whole Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is overrated.
1212 6th Avenue
New York, New York
Lady peon on phone: I don’t know… That whole Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is overrated.
1212 6th Avenue
New York, New York
Annoyed executive: I wouldn’t piss in his mouth if it was a urinal!
84 Newbury Street
Peabody, Massachusetts
Cube dweller on phone: Stupid, beer-drinking cat.
Bedminster, New Jersey
Coworker, after snow predicted night before: So, I want to know what happened to the one to three inches I was promised.
Portland, Oregon
Office grunt slamming down phone: I get an empty meal slot filled and you jizz all over me!
Columbus Circle
New York, New York
Overheard by: Standing Aside
Supervisor: Did you happen to locate that file while I was away this week?
Employee: No. I’m not comfortable rooting through your drawers. I feel like I am up to something.
Supervisor: Uhhh…
100 Cushman Street
Fairbanks, Arkansas
Overheard by: quiet one
Creepster customer: You working hard?
Cute cashier: Yes, sir!
Creepster customer: Well, if you follow me out back, I could find a few ways to work you harder.
Cute cashier: No, thank you, sir.
Creepster customer: Alright, cutie, don’t say I never tried to give you anything [pays and leaves].
Cute cashier, dropping the perky act: What a fucking asshole! I hope his dick get an infection and falls off. [New customer walks up, and cute cashier resumes perky act] How are you doing?!
Grocery store
Farmville, North Carolina
Employee: I don’t want anymore customers to come in.
Manager: I know, me either. [As old lady with walker approaches door] Dammit… I hope she dies before she gets to the door.
Portland, Oregon
Gate agent: How cute you look in your outfit, Maria*!
Ramp agent in fluorescent jumpsuit, heading out to Tarmac: I look like a gigantic yellow highlighter.
Boarding area, JetBlue flight to JFK
Palm Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Boss: I’m going to get wrinkles from making the sympathy face.
101 Avenue A
Conroe, Texas
