Manager: Do you want to hear the rumors about layoffs and so on? Well, what I've been hearing is that things will be quiet for a while.
(flash of lightning followed by huge ominous boom of thunder)
Manager: No, I mean it!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Coworker #1: She doesn't look that old! She must have had some crazy plastic surgery.
Coworker #2: Or maybe she just emerges from underneath their beds at night and eats children's souls.
Manhattan, New York
Office worker #1: She has a degree from Harvard and another from Yale.
Office worker #2: Well, if she's so smart, why is she working for the government?
Pentagon
Washington, DC
Receptionist #1: So she got a new hair do.
Receptionist #2: Yes, braids, is it inappropriate to comment on them?
Receptionist #1: We could tell her that her hair looks…ethnic?
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Anne
Superior #1: So, Joanne wasn’t umm… working out so she left… I shouldn’t say any more.
Inferior #1: She didn’t come to work naked or something?!
Superior #2: [Responds to quizzical looks from others.] That comment has a context!
Cornwallis Road
Research Triangle Park, North Carolina
Overheard by: Ben A. Fit
Coworker #1: He couldn’t get it up?
Coworker #2: No, he couldn’t get hard.
Coworker #1: Wow, I can at least get hard.
Coworker #2: It was his first shoot. They gave him Viagra and energy drinks and the girl sucked and rubbed him for an hour but he couldn’t get hard. Then the director fired him and asked if anyone if could keep it hard for two hours.
Coworker #1: Did you volunteer?
Coworker #2: No, I can stay hard for an hour but not two. But a cameraman did. I felt bad for the girl, she was just 18 and it was her first shoot and the cameraman was like 60.
Coworker #1: Damn. I wish I hadn’t called in sick.
Porn Shoot
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: she was ugly
Jen: Today is Leonardo Da Vinci’s birthday.
Beth: Really? I guess he’ll be going out to dinner with Gisele Bundchen. Oh wait, they broke up, didn’t they?
Jen: […]
Sylvan Way
Parsippany, New Jersey
Overheard by: Karen
Salesman: That man was crazy!
Architect: Was he gay?
Salesman: No, he’s too old to be gay!
Williamsburg, Virginia
Overheard by: Not too old
Developer, talking about boss: Yeah, and I was giving him crap because he wouldn’t come out with us because his wife’s gay… I mean pregnant!
State & Water
Peoria, Illinois
Overheard by: only girl in an office of men…
Lady peon: I had a third thing to mention to you.
Manager: Okay, go ahead.
Lady peon: When I was on the phone with Susan*, she got mad at me. She told me to chill in a very inappropriate tone.
Manager: Uh-huh.
Lady peon: I think she’ll sabotage your party over this. I think she’s gone around the bend.
Manager: You think she’s gone around the bend?
Paramus, New Jersey
Overheard by: Making Copies
