Peon #1: You know what I can’t wait to do?
Peon #2: Let me guess — dip, masturbate, take a shit.
Peon #1: And…?
Peon #2: Drink?
Peon #1: So you are listening.
Stamford, Connecticut
Overheard by: anon
Peon #1: You know what I can’t wait to do?
Peon #2: Let me guess — dip, masturbate, take a shit.
Peon #1: And…?
Peon #2: Drink?
Peon #1: So you are listening.
Stamford, Connecticut
Overheard by: anon
CFO: Fourth floor is going to Hooters. I don’t like Hooters. I like Dick’s.
1 North Meridian Street
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Peon
Dude #1: I have a massive penis.
Dude #2: Dude, you don’t even have pubes!
Dude #1: Want me to pull one out?
Dude #3: Do you have no shame?! Do you think God stops watching you at the lunch table?! And, Coco, you know you have an average-size penis.
Gaston Christian School, 1222 North Hope Road
Gastonia, North Carolina
Female coworker #1: So, what do you think about Henry?
Female coworker #2: He’s an odd egg, but a good egg — at least when he’s not licking people.
Wausau, Wisconsin
Guy #1: Have you ever been caught masturbating in the bathroom?
Guy #2: What?! No, of course not!
Guy #1: Oh, okay… Good spot, ain’t it?
Antwerp
Belgium
Overheard by: meneither
Man: And I said, ‘I think you’ve taken me to the wrong place. It’s full of naked men…’
Princeton, New Jersey
Peon #1: It smells like someone took a huge shit. What the hell is that?
Peon #2: It’s the tacos. I had tacos for lunch. Does it smell like tacos?
69 North 69th Street
New York, New York
Consultant: I was a straight-A student until fourth grade.
Federal Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Adam
Pretty bisexual waitress: You’ve got to have something to look forward to — one way or the other, I’m getting laid tonight.
Ugly asexual waiter: I know what you mean — I’m going to have breakfast food for dinner.
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
