Barista to another after calling out drink orders: So, uh, what are you going to do with the dead body?
Starbucks
Burbank, California
Overheard by: rambunkcious
Barista to another after calling out drink orders: So, uh, what are you going to do with the dead body?
Starbucks
Burbank, California
Overheard by: rambunkcious
Professor to group of peers grading cadet exams: Wow, now this kid’s going to grow up to be a serial killer.
US Military Academy, West Point
Highland Falls, New York
Suit on cell: Can I call you back in a minute? I’m about to, uh, walk the lizard. Okay, bye.
Guy in stall: It’s ‘drain the lizard,’ you idiot.
534 Broad Hollow Road
Melville, New York
Overheard by: Super Mike
Coworker, about inappropriate supervisor: It's like working in the geriatric Jersey Shore.
College
Massachusetts
Lou*: Who do I call to get a shirt for the trade show?
Jen*: You email Erin*.
Lou: Can I just copy you in so I have a witness that this year I ordered a men’s shirt?
Lake Success, New York
Female employee, about customer: He’s afraid of his wife.
Male employee #1: And may I ask who isn’t?!
Male employee #2: I don’t fear my wife, I just respect her power.
Eden Prairie, Minnesota
Editor: Never mind the farting sounds you heard from across the hall. They’re nothing to worry about.
353 Sacramento Street
San Francisco, California
Manager: Well, you must have felt the body when you ran over it.
Employee with foreign accent: I did not feel it.
Manager: You didn’t feel a thump?
Employee with foreign accent: I thought I was dragging a trash bag.
Harborside Drive
East Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Addababy Itsaboy
Bond salesperson to trader: Yeah, Stew’s* pretty conservative. He doesn’t do Fannies.
1000 SW Broadway
Portland, Oregon
