Gossip

Co-worker #1: What was that white box you were carrying?
Co-worker #2: Donuts. Why, you want one?
Co-worker #1: Yes!
Co-worker #3: Where were you?
Co-worker #1: What? Do you want donuts, too?
Co-worker #3: No, I want you to explain yourself for being late.
Co-worker #4: Yeah, you didn’t say anything when you called me at 7 this morning.
Co-worker #5: Yeah, she didn’t say anything to me last night at 11, either.

All stare at co-worker #5.

Co-worker #2: Just take the donuts and go away.
Co-worker #5: That’s what you said last night at 11, too!

401 Church Street
Nashville, Tennessee

Ditzy office peon looking at pregnant celebrity in magazine: It looks like she's wearing one of those sha…sha-long things, ya know, that you carry a baby in.
Girl: Don't you mean “sarong”?
Male office peon: Hahaha you said “shlong”!

Central Avenue
Wood Dale, Illinois

Co-worker #1: [Anna] is really mean.
Co-worker #2: It’s because of her race.
Co-worker #1: What? Her race?
Co-worker #2: Yeah, whatever she is; they’re all like that.

171 17th Street NW
Atlanta, Georgia

Boss, yelling in gruff voice: Mine’s bigger!

55 Water Street
New York, New York

Overheard by: Mickey the Intern

Coworker #1: Do you have any happy memories from your childhood?
Coworker #2: Naked babysitters.

Honolulu, Hawaii

IT guy: Oh, good I’m back to the top of your favorite people list.
Sales assistant: What? William* the hot A/C guy got bumped down?
IT guy: William’s gone; he’s off the list.
Sales guy: Isn’t William a gerbil?
Sales assistant: That’s my gerbil! We’re talking about the A/C guy now.
Sales guy: Ask Peter* about gerbil; he likes ’em.
IT guy: Ed breeds the gerbils.
Sales guy: I breed them just for you. Hairless, clawless gerbils.
Peter: Edsgerbils.com!
Sales guy: You don’t want one with claws..
Peter: Go to Edsgerbils.com to get your hairless gerbils.
Sales guy: Don’t forget clawless… you don’t want one with claws.
Office Manager: Stop with the gerbils.
Sales guy, to himself: No… don’t want one with claws….

8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

Employee: Did you see the Accounting Department? They are all dressed up like the Village People… or the Seven Dwarfs — I’m not sure.

100 Mountain Road
Framingham, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Snow Whitefish

Newlywed coworker: I am all about leather.

33 New Montgomery Street
San Francisco, California

Receptionist #1: Do you know who Jessica Simpson is dating?
Receptionist #2: No, I don’t care. … Who?
Receptionist #1: I read it in People so you know it’s true. You’re going to be so pissed.
Receptionist #2: Ok, who?
Receptionist #1: John Mayer!
Receptionist #2: Whaaaaaat?
Receptionist #1: I know, right?
Receptionist #2: Dude. What is with every celebrity guy I ever respected letting me down lately? First Jared Leto looking like a labia at the VMAs, now this?
Receptionist #1: At least it’s not Dane Cook.
Receptionist #2: I know. At least he’s preserved.
Receptionist #1: At least he wasn’t tainted by her taint.

Taunton, Massachusetts

Overheard by: kerily

Girl #1: I’m not pregnant.
Girl #2: Oh, good! I found out this weekend that I’m not pregnant, either.

Boarding high school dorm
Beverly, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Teacher in the hallway… like they were trying to go through this together?