Cube dweller: Dude, there’s like fucking rivers coming out of my uterus.
850 Broadway
Medford, Massachusetts
Cube dweller: Dude, there’s like fucking rivers coming out of my uterus.
850 Broadway
Medford, Massachusetts
Peon #1: He’s into that pooping and farting stuff now.
Peon #2: Who isn’t?!
St. Louis, Missouri
Charity worker: His name was Brandon*, and he was about six and he has Down Syndrome and eye cancer, so he has one glass eye, but you can’t tell. But sometimes it plops out. He also needs a major hip replacement, but he does walk most of the time. He can’t talk. He’s sooo cute.
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Bora
IT guy: … And then I took off all my clothes and ran at them screaming. They were shooting at me but couldn’t hit me.
Tysons Corner
Virginia
Worker bee: No, he was there. My sister and I came home from school and found her on the floor covered with ketchup, and you know what? Rosanne Barr’s mother did the same thing!
25500 Hawthorne Boulevard
Torrance, California
Overheard by: Robb Banks
Elderly female customer: I do miss my husband, you know? I had to have him cremated after he fell out of bed.
London
England
Overheard by: Badger
Employee #1: They got suspended.
Employee #2: Why?
Employee #1: They were grinding during the National Anthem.
Employee #2: Oh, how do you do that?
Employee #1: Haven’t you seen the pony commercial? You can grind to anything.
201 Recreation Drive
Bolingbrook, Illinois
Repairman in elevator, to another: So, what’s wrong with having sex? People been havin’ sex for hundreds of years.
Research Drive
Durham, North Carolina
Account Exec #1: Your hair looks short today. Did you wash it this morning?
Account Exec #2: Yeah, I contemplated not washing it, but I decided I should.
Account Exec #1: Friday isn’t a hair washing day.
Account Exec #2: Well, I didn’t wash it yesterday.
Account Exec #1: [Lucy] can go a couple of days without washing her hair.
Account Exec #2: A couple of days?
Account Exec #1: Well, it’s more or less a question of whether or not her scalp is sweaty and smelly.
171 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
CSR: Stan* filled my pipeline with so much hardware it made my whole third quarter.
Hilton Head, South Carolina
