Employee #1: He doesn’t do anything, but he makes great presentations.
Employee #2: He gives good slide?
Employee #1: Exactly.
600 Technology Park Drive
Billerica, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Jeff Dietz
Employee #1: He doesn’t do anything, but he makes great presentations.
Employee #2: He gives good slide?
Employee #1: Exactly.
600 Technology Park Drive
Billerica, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Jeff Dietz
Policewoman: Right. So then I had to search her, and I found a crack pipe shoved somewhere that a crack pipe should never be shoved. So I entered it in the log, and then I threw it into the garbage. Then she said, ‘No, you can’t throw it out. That’s my best one! I’ll never get another one like it!’
Mother: Oh my god, honey, how nasty! I don’t like you working in situations like this.
Policewoman: Well, but my point is this: of course she’ll get it back. Soon as I release her, she’ll just go digging in the trash and find it, and shove it right back where I found it.
Belmont Avenue and Sheridan Road
Chicago, Illinois
Coworker #1, distraught: I’m leaving now. I probably won’t be back till tomorrow.
Clueless manager: Okay, have fun! [Distraught coworker sobs and runs out.]Coworker #2: Um… You know she’s having her dog put to sleep, right?
111 Madisonville Street
Crofton, Kentucky
Overheard by: will1966
Gossip queen: So, Nate, saw you and Erin left during lunch together. What's goin' on there?
Nate: Nothin'.
Gossip queen: Oh, I get it. Wink. (walks away)
Nate to John: When did eating lunch with someone correlate to having penetrated them? I swear to god, my reputation gets laid about 300% more than I do.
John: Wink.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: me
Clerk #1: My nephew is getting married, and his mother is not happy.
Clerk #2: Why’s that?
Clerk #1: Well she is Mexican, Italian or maybe from India. I don’t know. They just don’t like her. He’s really intelligent, but they’re worried about him quitting college now.
1400 Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: unbelievable
20-something in scrubs #1: The one I really like is Jared*.
20-something in scrubs #2: Jared?
20-something in scrubs #1: Yeah. When we’re together I can really control him.
Hospital, 399 Bathurst Street
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Office peon: Well, guess who one of them was? Guess who one of the lesbian gypsies was?!
202 West 1st Street
Los Angeles, California
Old lady coworker, about four-year-old niece: I’m minding Lydia* tonight, so I thought I’d leave early to read the directions on the macaroni and cheese.
1500 JFK Boulevard
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: it takes an hour
Distracted sexy woman: I’m in room 7439*.
Bellman: I’m happily married.
Hotel and casino
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Laurence Crews
Boss #1: We can use [Derek] as our field supervisor; he knows how to do the work.
Boss #2: Is he still a drunk?
Boss #1: Yeah. His wife left him.
Boss #2: He has always been a drinker.
Boss #1: So we’ll put him in charge of everything and he can run the crews. We’ll pay his expenses and give him the company truck.
Boss #2: Okay. Sounds good to me. Maybe stuff will start getting done now.
8221 NW Expressway Street
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
