Student teacher: So, what is your school’s policy concerning sodas? Am I allowed to bring them as long as they are in an unmarked container?
Teacher: Yes, most definitely. Some of the other schools in the area have taken out their drink machines for teachers, but our principal’s a Coke addict.
4858 Lead Mine Road
Snowville, Virginia
Production Tech: Oh that’s right, I forgot, someone else is going to have to pick up Dillon* on Friday. I’m gonna go get married.
859 Cotting Court
Vacaville, California
Salesgirl: Wait, you know Pete*? Oh my God! You have to tell him that I miss jumping on the bed and making pornography with him. He’ll know what I mean.
L Street NW
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Curious Kat
Executive: At the end of December she agreed to voluntarily quit. She really wants to go and do that bendy thing — you know, yoga.
Portrero Hill
San Francisco, California
Co-worker #1: Also I watched [Ernest] get into basically a penis-measuring contest with his roommate.
Co-worker #2: Over what?
Co-worker #1: Well…who was the fittest, and about who makes more hourly.
Co-worker #2: Who won?
Co-worker #1: In two weeks they’re going to have a run around Greenlake, and [Anthony] says in a couple of months he’ll make more hourly again.
2001 Lind Avenue SW
Renton, Washington
Boss’s 80-year-old dad: I don’t think I am going to keep my realtor’s license.
Boss’s 80-year-old mom: Okay… Then what are you going to do?
Boss’s 80-year-old dad: I’ll become a sex therapist!
126 York Street
Elmhurst, Illinois
Overheard by: Joanie
Tech #1: So, why did the cops pick you up, again? For dressing like a transvestite?
Tech #2: Nah, for hitting my girlfriend. She clocked me back, though, and by the time the cops pulled up we were already making out.
W 28th Street
New York, New York
Broker #1: I’m getting a divorce.
Broker #2: No way, man. You’re lying.
Broker #1, sadly: I wouldn’t lie about that.
Broker #2: Oh, now, you’re just saying that to make me jealous.
30 South Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Overpaid receptionist: I am so freakin’ tired. I’ve been actually having sex since four o’clock Saturday ’til six o’clock this morning.
Coworker: Ummm, that’s nice.
Overpaid receptionist: I’m so sore. I am walking like Sally*. It looks like she was fucked all weekend, but all she did was pull weeds.
North O’Connor Boulevard
Las Colinas, Texas
Overheard by: So that’s what ‘being rode hard and put away wet’ looks like
Auditorium worker: …she has shelves full of them. If you visit her she goes on and on about all her Hummels. And for each Hummels she has some goddamn story to go along with it. Bores you to death. That’s why I don’t go over there.
700 Nicollet Mall
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: 2qrs
