Worker #1: I have to be up at 5AM tomorrow.
Worker #2: Oh? What are you doing?
Worker #1: I’m fifing in Connecticut.
29 Winter Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: scrapes
Worker #1: I have to be up at 5AM tomorrow.
Worker #2: Oh? What are you doing?
Worker #1: I’m fifing in Connecticut.
29 Winter Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: scrapes
Medical scientist #1: You know, they’ve got sheep in the basement…
Medical scientist #2: Our basement?!
Medical scientist #1: Yeah. It’s for heart surgery experiments. They bring them up for MRIs at night.
Medical scientist #2: There are sheep using our MRI machines?!
Medical scientist #1: Well, they’re only small ones…
Hospital, Flemington Road
Parkville, Victoria
Australia
Boss: I’m not saying he’s a polygamist, but…
29th Street
Santa Monica, California
Overheard by: mfk
Worker bee: It’s like he’s a totally different person. I’m not sure if it’s him or if he’s been taken over by aliens. I keep checking him for anal probes.
Denver, Colorado
Co-worker #1: What did that guy do? Why is he a prisoner?
Co-worker #2: I don’t know. I asked him, and all he said was, “It’s a long story.” Who knows? He’s probably a child molester or something.
Co-worker #3: Maybe he had sex with a horse or something.
Co-worker #1: I don’t know, I would think that would be a relatively short story. Like a one-liner.
100 East Carroll Street
Salisbury, Maryland
Manager to another: Why don’t you take a seat on my commode? It’s fur-lined… It’s a special otter fur. The poop washes right off.
101 North 2nd Street
Harrisonburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Andréa Cecil
Student teacher: So, what is your school’s policy concerning sodas? Am I allowed to bring them as long as they are in an unmarked container?
Teacher: Yes, most definitely. Some of the other schools in the area have taken out their drink machines for teachers, but our principal’s a Coke addict.
4858 Lead Mine Road
Snowville, Virginia
Production Tech: Oh that’s right, I forgot, someone else is going to have to pick up Dillon* on Friday. I’m gonna go get married.
859 Cotting Court
Vacaville, California
Salesgirl: Wait, you know Pete*? Oh my God! You have to tell him that I miss jumping on the bed and making pornography with him. He’ll know what I mean.
L Street NW
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Curious Kat
Executive: At the end of December she agreed to voluntarily quit. She really wants to go and do that bendy thing — you know, yoga.
Portrero Hill
San Francisco, California
