Deliveryman: I’m looking for the seventeenth floor.
Receptionist: You’re on the eighteenth floor.
Deliveryman: Where’s the seventeenth floor?
3900 West Alameda Avenue
Burbank, California
Deliveryman: I’m looking for the seventeenth floor.
Receptionist: You’re on the eighteenth floor.
Deliveryman: Where’s the seventeenth floor?
3900 West Alameda Avenue
Burbank, California
Co-worker: So I was at the deli, and I asked for a third of a pound of meat. I asked the lady twice. She then gave me 1.5 pounds of meat. I said, “Excuse me, this isn’t a third of a pound.” Then she said,
“Yes, it is.” Then I said, “No, it’s not.” So then she turns and asks her co-worker behind the deli counter how much a third of a pound is, and her co-worker replies, “Oh, a third of a pound is .75.”…This is why I hate the South.
115 Perimeter Center Place
Atlanta, Georgia
Coworker #1: I can get news from all 52 states!
Coworker #2: Uh… there are only 50 states.
Coworker #1: Duh — Alaska and Hawaii!
Chelmsford, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Must’ve missed that one in geography…
Co-worker: It’s been my 12th year in this godforsaken country and I never made it past Baltimore.
2910 North Charles Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Shara Jenkins
Woman: So, when people take an Alaskan Cruise, do they go to the west coast of Alaska?
Man: Yeah…I think so.
Chicago, Illinois
Co-worker #1: My corner is dark and quiet.
Co-worker #2: You should move over here.
Co-worker #3: Just make sure you don’t wear Stevie Wonder glasses over at your corner.
6000 Windward Parkway
Alpharetta, Georgia
Lady: See, I had taken my urine down to the cafeteria.
500 Indiana Avenue NW
Washington, DC
Overheard by: David
Blonde: You know that map in her office?
Brunette: What about it?
Blonde: Well, it’s like so detailed. I can look at it and be like: “I live there!”
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Will you just shut up already?
Girl in smoking area: Yeah. Well, they say that the United States has the most severe weather of our whole country.
Evans, Colorado
Overheard by: Princess
Resident: Patient was seen today at his home. He’s still complaining that the beams from Oregon are bothering him, but he said they aren’t affecting him too badly right now. In fact, he said that they don’t affect men too much in general – it’s really women who should be worried about the beams, especially, he said, when they’re aimed at women’s private boxes.
Social worker: Did you just say private boxes?
Psychiatric clinic
Tulsa, Oklahoma
