I.T. desk guy: Can I help you?
Annoyed studentess: Is this where you’re supposed to go to change your grades?
I.T. desk guy: Afraid not. You’ll want to try Professor Lucifer. He’s in office 666.
Annoyed studentess: Oh, okay. So that’s on the sixth floor?
Aderhold Center, Georgia State University
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Iain M.
Intern: I’m sorry that I didn’t turn in my time sheet on Friday. I was on vacation and didn’t have access to a computer.
Payroll official: Well, I’ll let it go this time. Just don’t keep us in lingo again.
130 Cremona Drive
Santa Barbara, California
Overheard by: A disbelieving employee
Customer: Is fifty percent off of $100, like, $50?
Employee: No. Not at all. It usually works out to $35.95.
Customer: Really?
2223 Victoria Avenue East
Regina, Saskatchewan
Woman on the phone in the HEAT assistance office: I can’t talk right now, I’m in HEAT.
533 East 26th Street
Ogden, Utah
Overheard by: I see it Now
Customer: What country are you from?
Tech: I’m from England, ma’am.
Customer: Oh. Did you know Princess Diana?
Tech: No, sorry. I’m afraid I didn’t.
Customer: What about Paul McCartney?
Circuit City
Peoria, Illinois
Overheard by: Chris
Tech #1: Did you see this consumer complaint? “Your cereal gave me herpes and AIDS.” I guess we’re giving out AIDS as a special promotion.
Tech #2: We’re putting blood in the product now?
Tech #1: Knowing this place, more likely it’s semen.
901 East Whitmore
Modesto, California
Overheard by: Changing my breakfast plans
Tornado siren sounds for weekly testing.
Co-Worker #1: Stop, drop, and roll?
Co-Worker #2: Uh, no, that’s for a fire. That’s the bend over and kiss your ass goodbye siren.
301 Industrial Boulevard
Conway, Arkansas
Overheard by: JustDenise
Employee on phone: I was picking a booger out of my nose before and lost it, and I didn’t know where it went and I just found it on my finger.
390 Sixth Street
Huntington, New York
Partner #1: Are you coming to the Fourth of July party?
Partner #2: When is it?
16th Street and M Street, NW
Washington, DC
Manager: How can I help you?
Customer: Yeah, I’ve been taking this stuff from the internet that’s supposed to help with memory. I wanted to see if you have it here.
Manager: Ok, we probably do. Was it Gingko Biloba?
Customer: Yeah, maybe. I’m not sure. I can’t remember what it’s called.
GNC, Cherry Creek Mall
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Dash
