General Idiocy

Tornado siren sounds for weekly testing.

Co-Worker #1: Stop, drop, and roll?
Co-Worker #2: Uh, no, that’s for a fire. That’s the bend over and kiss your ass goodbye siren.

301 Industrial Boulevard
Conway, Arkansas

Overheard by: JustDenise

Employee on phone: I was picking a booger out of my nose before and lost it, and I didn’t know where it went and I just found it on my finger.

390 Sixth Street
Huntington, New York

Partner #1: Are you coming to the Fourth of July party?
Partner #2: When is it?

16th Street and M Street, NW
Washington, DC

Manager: How can I help you?
Customer: Yeah, I’ve been taking this stuff from the internet that’s supposed to help with memory. I wanted to see if you have it here.
Manager: Ok, we probably do. Was it Gingko Biloba?
Customer: Yeah, maybe. I’m not sure. I can’t remember what it’s called.

GNC, Cherry Creek Mall
Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: Dash

Assistant: Did anyone order anything from Nuclear?
Sales guy: From who?
Assistant: Nuclear. N-U-C-O-R.
Sales girl: Nucor?
Assistant: Um, yeah. Ha ha ha. Sorry.
Sales guy: Yeah, you’re missing a few letters there.

8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

Agent: Thank you for calling the help desk. Can I have your first and last name, please?
Customer: Is Eudora down?
Agent: Um, Eudora is a program that is isolated on your computer. It is not a system or network of everyone’s email.
Customer: Is Eudora [campus email] down?
Agent: No.
Customer: I’ll call my cable company.

Customer hangs up.

University of Wisconsin
Madison, Wisconsin

Overheard by: Brandon

Voice on intercom: Would the person who ordered a pizza please come up front to pay for it? What? Oh! Cancel the last announcement. It is the Fed Ex guy not the pizza guy.

57060 Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi

Overheard by: Brain Dancing

Male co-worker: That’s the thing about black people. They’ll just sing their favorite song out loud. Like they don’t care that they’re in public.
Female co-worker: Well, that’s because they have better voices than we do.

1000 Techwood
Atlanta, Georgia

Coworker: I have one word for this project: absolutely ridiculous.

111 Huntington
Boston, Massachusetts

Nurse on phone: I’m sorry, she said she doesn’t want to talk to you… Uh huh… Well, we can’t make a patient talk to someone on the phone… I’m sorry, that’s what she said. You’re her husband, right? Oh, you’re her mother! Just a moment, please.

10 Medical Center Boulevard
Winston-Salem, North Carolina