Middle-aged customer: Give me two packs of them Basic cigarettes.
Sales clerk rings up cigarettes and register beeps: It wants me to check your ID.
Middle-aged customer: I don’t have no ID.
Sales clerk: How old are you?
Middle-aged customer: Uh. Um. 40… 50… 50-something.
Sales clerk: Okay, $9.75.
Walgreens, 5650 West Belmont Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Peon: I am stealing this.
CEO: Why?
Peon: Because I have to send it somewhere and you stole it when you went on one of your frenzies and now that you are calm I am sending it away.
CEO: But why did I go off?
Peon: Like I ever know why you go off. It is just something you do. I just wait until it passes and do what should have been done before. It is just the way it works.
407 East Gude Drive
Rockville, Maryland
Customer service clerk #1: Whew! It stinks in here. Did the bug exterminator guy spray for bugs in here today?
Customer service clerk #2: No, one of the sales reps just walked through. You are smelling salesman cologne.
5760 East Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi
Overheard by: Brain Dancing
Co-worker on phone: Oh, man…Yeah, if you have HIV, you should definately stay home…Okay, see ya Monday.
Co-worker #2: So who has the HIV?
Co-worker #1: Oh, [Paul]’s got the flu and strep or something.
2300 West Plano Parkway
Plano, Texas
Overheard by: Lauren
Office guy on the phone: Nice. So you sleep in the nude. Not bad for a Republican.
Government Office
Washington, DC
Manager: I've got it up. I just don't know how to use it.
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: Doug's Mom
Office girl: I mean, he doesn't even know me. For all he knows, I could be a crazy bitch. I could ruin his life!
Winchester, Virginia
Clerk behind counter: Has anyone given you anything to carry on or placed anything in your bags that you aren’t aware of?
Passenger: How would I know?
American Airlines Terminal
Kennedy Airport, New York
Overheard by: Paul V.
Female coworker #1 to male coworker: So, where are you from again?
Male coworker: Chicago.
Female coworker #2 to male coworker: Wait! Is Chicago the state or is Illinois the state?
Male coworker: Is that a real question?
Seattle, Washington
Employee to boss: Hey I know it’s the end of the day on Friday, but I’m really bored, do you have anything for me to do?
Boss: Oh! Here have some bubblewrap!
137 4th Ave
Edmonton Alabama
