Susan*: What language was that?
Office lady, hanging up phone: Croatian.
Susan: Oh, wow, I didn’t know you were black. [Entire office goes silent.]Boss, from his office: Susan*, you’re fired.
Garden City, New York
Susan*: What language was that?
Office lady, hanging up phone: Croatian.
Susan: Oh, wow, I didn’t know you were black. [Entire office goes silent.]Boss, from his office: Susan*, you’re fired.
Garden City, New York
Cashier: You’re new? What’s your name?
Newbie: Ryan.
Cashier: Brian?
Newbie: Ryan.
Cashier: It’s good to know you, Brian.
Newbie: Ryan. It’s Ryan, with an ‘R.’
Cashier: Huh? What do you mean, ‘with an R’? Is there any way to spell Brian without an ‘R’?
Newbie: I suppose not, no.
2020 Gunbarrel Road
Chattanooga, Tennessee
Manager in meeting: We’ll hit that bridge when we come to it.
London
England
Customer: Umm… Excuse me, do you have that book?
Bookstore employee: Do you know the title?
Customer: No.
Bookstore employee: Do you know the author?
Customer: Uh… No, but they wrote that other book.
Bookstore employee: Do you know where the other book is in the shop?
Customer, brightly: Yeah! It's over there somewhere! (points behind himself to the entire shop)
Darwin
Australia
Visitor: Excuse me, where’s your kitchen?
Engineer: Eh?
Visitor: Where’s your kitchen?
Engineer: My what?
Visitor: Your kitchen?
Engineer: It’s in my house…
Peterborough
United Kingdom
Employee #1: Oh, god! Tammy*!
Supervisor: What now?
Employee #2: I drooled on her!
Employee #1: Get out of my cube, drooler!
Sycamore, Illinois
Nurse to patient after pregnancy test: Congratulations on your new arrival. Are you excited?
Patient: Yeah. I’m just in shock. I mean, I can’t believe my sister is going to be an aunt!
616 Court Street
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: Vicky
Biotechy waitress: It is really nice having dishwasher boy here.
Polite waitress: He has a name! His name is Rick*!
Biotechy waitress, to Rick: Do you mind if I call you ‘dishwasher boy’?
Dishwasher boy: No! It means I have a job title!
931 Redd Road
El Paso, Texas
Co-worker #1: Your brain still not working?
Co-worker #2: Not so much.
Co-worker #3: Mine’s not really working either.
Co-worker #1: Mine’s working, it just keeps timing out.
659 Mimosa Boulevard
Roswell, Georgia
Interviewer: Are you persuasive?
Candidate: I call it force of personality. Like, I read people and
then I get them to do things by acting different ways. Like some people, I yell at them. I’m not mean but I yell at them. But like my boss, I can’t yell at him.
Interviewer:Because he’s your boss?
Candidate: No. He does better if I do like, a little girl act. You know? Like, “Oh please.”
Interviewer: Um, okay. So, who is your favorite designer?…This isn’t a trick question. I just want to know.
Candidate: My favorite designer is United Colors of Benetton.
721 5th Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: mean girls
