Boss: Can you help me with this Word document? I want to change it so that the layout is horizontal instead of vertical.
Secretary: Okay, go into File, then Page Setup.
Boss: Yep.
Secretary: You see where it says “Page Source”?
Boss: Yep.
Secretary: Okay. Now you see where it says “Orientation”? Make your choice.
Boss: Gay or straight?
525 Collins Street
Melbourne, Victoria
Australia
Overheard by: Captain Pants
Coworker #1: Did you inhale?
Coworker #2: I never exhaled!
Branchburg, New Jersey
CSR on phone: His name is Dan. That's “d” as in “dog,” “a” as in “apple,” “n” as in “India.”
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: bored receptionist
Worker bee #1: Your car doesn’t get very good mileage, does it?
Worker bee #2: Well, it gets 21 on the highway.
Worker bee #1: Do you do any highway driving?
Worker bee #2: No, not really.
Main Street
Spencer, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Paul Skarmeas
Tech: Oh crap, I’ve been infected by Google.
30833 Northwestern Highway
Farmington Hills, Michigan
Receptionist: What month is April?
Dentist Office
Arlington Heights, Illinois
Office lady: I don’t understand why he got life in prison. All he did was try to help dispose of the body.
100 West 33rd Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: C-Rizzy
Coworker on phone: Hi, may I speak to your moaner? I mean, “owner”?
Mustang, Oklahoma
Worker #1, looking at calendar: Patriot Day? What the hell is Patriot Day?!
Worker #2: Dude, that's September 11th.
Worker #1: Oh, damn.
Worker #3: You said you'd never forget!
Ellensburg, Washington
Sorority girl in Spanish class: ‘Diabolico…’ That means he’s diabetic, right?
Classmate: No, it means diabolic.
Sorority girl: So, diabolic… Is that like a medical condition?
Modern Languages building, University of Arizona
Tucson, Arizona
