10AM Project Meeting

Worker #1: Boy, you look tired…
Project Manager: Yeah, it’s been hectic. I need some of that geico balboa stuff.
Worker #1: Uh, ginko bilboa?
Project Manager: That’s what I said.
Worker #1: No, you said “geico balboa”.
Project Manager: What’s the difference?
Worker #1: Well, Geico is an insurance company, and Balboa is Rocky the boxer’s–as in the movie–last name.
Project Manager: Ha! I wonder if he gets a hard time for that.
Worker #1: He’s not a real person. Besides, I think what you meant was you needed some ginseng. Do you know what ginko bilboa is for?
Worker #2: Okay, seriously, how long is this meeting going to be?

6700 Hollister Road
Houston, Texas

Overheard by: Damien Sebastiani

Posted on December 25, 2020
Coworkers, General Idiocy, Gripes, Health & Hygiene, Questions, Texas, Words

2PM Client Meeting

Attorney: I heard [the client] was whiny.
Client in waiting room: I’m whiny because I’m sick and this is the first time I’ve left the house.
Attorney: Oh shit.

110 N. Washington Street
Rockville, Maryland

Overheard by: Joan

Posted on December 25, 2020
Comebacks, Customers, General Idiocy, Gripes, Health & Hygiene, Lawyers, Maryland

If It’s Not Coming, We Need to Know

Suit: We need that information RSVP.
Minion: Uh, ASAP?
Suit: I don’t think so.

Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Joe

Posted on December 22, 2020
General Idiocy, Illinois, Suits

Get the Mirror Off Your Desk

Employee: I’ve been on e-mail since 5 AM, and all I see is incomptitude.

550 South Hope Street
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: hearing it in stereo

Posted on December 20, 2020
California, Dumb Employees, General Idiocy, Time Management, Words

Nice Work If You Can Get It

HR girl: Have you looked at that guy’s resume?
HR guy: Yeah, but I’m a little concerned about his spermatic work history.
HR girl: … Sporadic?
HR guy: Yeah. My bad.

Terrell, Texas

Overheard by: HR girl 2

Posted on December 20, 2020
Dumb Employees, General Idiocy, Texas

Is February the One with Only Ten?

Junior art director: Hey, what month is eleven?

Chicago, Illinois

Posted on December 19, 2020
Default, Designers and Photographers, General Idiocy, Illinois, Questions

Which Has Been Lifted, Due to Cornea Movies Like Brokeback Mountain

50-something admin talking about a gay couple she knew in the past: Back then there was an astigmatism associated with it.

Medical Center
Houston, Texas

Overheard by: Wow am I glad my last day is in a week.

Posted on December 17, 2020
Admins, Age and ageing, General Idiocy, Health & Hygiene, Texas, Words

So is He Bruce Springsteen or Tony Danza?

Speakerphone: So, we’re filling out nametags for next week’s meeting. What’s Randy’s title?
Receptionist: Well, he’s The Boss.
Speakerphone: Okay, but what’s his title?
Receptionist: “The Boss”. He’s The Boss.
Speakerphone: All right, he’s your boss, but what’s his title?
Receptionist: He’s “The Boss”!
Speakerphone: Oh, well then…um, okay that’s great. Thanks for your help.

35555 Garfield Road
Clinton Township, Michigan

Overheard by: Stephanie Saffold

Posted on December 15, 2020
General Idiocy, Michigan, On the phone, Questions, Receptionists

If It Doesn’t Offend Someone’s Religion, It’s Not Worth Doing

Male employee: And the worst thing is that we’re not allowed to do anything to stop another attack. No profiling so we don’t offend someone’s religion. To hell with that!

Piedmont, South Carolina

Overheard by: Ape

Posted on December 12, 2020
Dumb Employees, General Idiocy, Gripes, Insults, Religion, South Carolina

…According to Albert Einstein.

Student: You haven't lived until you've failed out of school at least once.

BOCES
Bellport, New York

Overheard by: So thats why you're in Boces!

Posted on December 10, 2020
Advice, Education, General Idiocy, New York, Students

General Idiocy