Gays and lesbians

Boss, leaning over printer: I'm getting duplicates up the wa-doo-da!
Gay art director: I hate when that happens.

The Village
Manhattan, New York

Female VP gay male VP: I would totally have sex with you.


Oblivious sales rep to gay tech: Do you know how lucky you are, the only guy in here with all these women?

Waukesha, Wisconsin

Office girl: Why don't you get a baby? A cute little brown baby?
Gay office worker: I don't want a gay-by!
Office girl: Oh yeah, a cute little chocolate baby!
Gay office worker: I'd eat him! I love chocolate! (pause) Anyway where's my urn?

Manhattan, New York

Queer peon: You need to shave.
Scruffy suit: Shaving's for homos!

Scottsdale, Arizona

Overheard by: Not Homo

Chubby, enthusiastic gay guy: I'm going to be the next Valerie Bertinelli!

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Harriet Vane

Female account manager: Kevin*, maybe you know this. I've been asking everyone and no one wants to tell me. What is a “pearl necklace?”
Kevin* (gay HR director): Oh, boy. Shut the door, please.

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Juan Chung

Female shop assistant: Sorry sir, but you'll have to stand outside. These changing rooms are for women only.
Cocky Spaniard: So?
Female shop assistant: You're a man.
Cocky Spaniard: But I'm gay!
Female shop assistant: That's not really my problem, sir. Please wait outside.

Massimo Dutti Store

Overheard by: Keep Digging!

Office lesbian: (suddenly starts sniffing the air)
Office straight girl: It's me…
Office lesbian: (nods and resumes working)

Fort Mill, South Carolina

Gay coworker, walking past office: I love making the girls giggle.

Chicago, Illinois