Gays and lesbians

Straight cube-dweller, about hole punch: Well, it shouldn't go there. It should be out in the open on the desk where I can see it.
Gay cube-dweller: What, you couldn't see it sitting there?
Straight cube-dweller: Well, it lives on my desk, not in the closet.
Gay cube-dweller: It's a shelf above your desk, not a closet.
Straight cube-dweller: Well, you would know more about closets than shelves, wouldn't you?

West Lafayette, Indiana

Lesbian: Just say it: Vagina.
Queen: Virgina?
Lesbian: Vagina!
Editor: I can’t wait till our first lawsuit…

W 35th
Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: token chick


Office guy to accounts manager: Hey dude, what are you munching on?
Effeminate gay guy, with attitude: Would you believe he just came in here and starting eating my nuts?

The Bahamas

Overheard by: dG

Female coworker: Um, hi.
Openly gay male coworker: Oh, hi. Sorry, I was just admiring your work.
Female coworker: Don't worry, I know you're not checking out my rack. Hm, and that actually makes me sad.
Openly gay male coworker: Yeah, I know. Keep dreaming.

Exchange Place
New York City, New York

Queer admin guy #1: They made another round of changes, so I had to go out and get more binders. Those thick ones are really expensive, too.
Queer admin guy #2: What were they, four inches?
Queer admin guy #1: I got the three-inch ones, I think.
Straight admin girl: But is three inches enough? Do you think?
Queer admin guy #2: (gives her a look)
Straight admin girl: No! No no no no no!

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Scooter

40-something owner: I was working with my horse this weekend but he was being difficult. He was acting like a faggot!
Gay employee: Excuse me! I find that extremely offensive!
40-something owner: Well, you know what I mean. “Faggot” is what my friends and I used to call each other when we were kids.

Southern California

Overheard by: Could have been anybody…

Office lesbian: Alex and I had another fight. Want to buy a new iPod with the engraving “Happy 21st birthday Alex”?
Office grunt: Has it been polished with tears?

Cleveland, Ohio

Overheard by: Finding humor in misfortune

Gay 20-something coworker, to female 20-something coworker, eyeing coworker's blackberry: You know, with you having that phone, I'd think you were a professional…until you opened your mouth.

University of California
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: venusflesh

Overly gay coworker: Oh. My. God. Why are you not answering your phone? I've had the same call ring back to me three times.
Coworker: Okay, you're gonna need to turn down the homosexuality, because all I'm hearing is, “blah blah blah, I'm such a fag, blah blah blah.”

Maryville Centre
St. Louis, Missouri

Gay guy #1: You look very Sesame Street today.
Gay guy #2: Oh my god, that's exactly what I was going for!

Fashion Institute of Technology
New York City, New York