Chubby CVS cashier to coworker: Yeah, so I've been seeing this new guy recently, it's going pretty well. We're hanging out later.
Coworker: Oh really, what are you going to do?
Chubby CVS cashier: Chill in his car.
Upper West Side
New York City, New York
Sales guy on phone with prospect: Yeah, well, then you get confused and don't know what to do and you're like a deer with headlights.
William St
New York City, New York
(two event planners are looking at their supply boxes for upcoming events)
Planner #1: My box is so full! I didn't realize there was so much stuff squeezed into my box.
Planner #2: Me either! But I don't like all these things that were put in my box. Who has been sticking stuff in my box? I don't like when people stick stuff in my box without asking me first.
Planner #1: We need to tell people to start leaving our boxes alone.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: You Better Leave My Box Alone!
Coworker to pregnant CRS: So, are you excited to have your baby?
Pregnant CRS: Yeah…I guess…kinda nervous.
Coworker: Why are you nervous?
Pregnant CRS: Because once I have a baby, I'll always have a baby. Like, forever.
Salt Lake City, Utah
Producer #1: Ever since I started taking this new pill I cry when I see commercials for fucking Sunset Tan!
Producer #2: Oh, I don't need the pill to cry at commercials like that!
Beverly Hills, California
Coworker #1: Yes, I am so sick of this dog… and I haven't even taken it home yet.
Coworker #2: Wait until it starts peeing and pooping all over the place. Puppies do that until you get them trained.
Coworker #1: I wish it could just watch a tape and be trained.
River Road
Conshohocken, Pennsylvania
Woman (looking at new drinks): I don't need more drinks to choose from. I'm not that interested in beverages. I like my Diet Coke, I like my vodka, and that's all I need.
Lakeshore Drive
Birmingham, Alabama
Lady suit #1 (serious): But I'll tell you this, I flew the highest kite. I usually do.
Lady suit #2 (joking): That's what I've heard about you.
Lady suit #1 (serious): Yeah, I feel high all the time.
Parkway Commons Drive
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Woman #1: I'm so excited about the new mother/meditation room. I can totally pretend to be meditating.
Woman #2: I can totally pretend to be lactating!
Evanston, Illinois
Office worker: After my father died I needed something to fill my head, so I thought “Oh! Celebrity doll collecting!”
Beacon Street
Newton, Massachusetts
