Woman peon on phone: Pretend you’re Islamic! Why can’t we wear burqas when we’re feeling ugly?!
1166 6th Avenue
New York, New York
Woman peon on phone: Pretend you’re Islamic! Why can’t we wear burqas when we’re feeling ugly?!
1166 6th Avenue
New York, New York
Customer: Hmmm… I want something in a waffle cone.
Salesgirl, holding cone: Okay. What would you like?
Customer: Can you do a chocolate dip with that cone?
Salesgirl: No, it’s not strong enough.
Customer: Oh. Well, can you put a small banana split in it?
Salesgirl: Uh, no.
Customer: What about a malt?
Salesgirl: No.
Customer: A milkshake?
Salesgirl: No.
Customer, irritated: Well, what can you do with it?
Salesgirl: I can put yogurt in it.
Frozen yogurt shop
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Cubicle chick: Are your boobs real?
2710 Marvin Road
Olympia, Washington
Male peon: Hold on, let me see if I can figure out who that person is. [Puts caller on hold.] Hey, guys, who is Erica*?
Female peon: The girl who worked here all summer.
Male peon: Oh. [Picks up phone.] She went back to school.
Providence, Rhode Island
Overheard by: We work in a very small office…
Employee #1: Hey, what’s there in your bag?
Employee #2: I’ve got some Korean salad…
Employee #1: May I–
Employee #2: –Nope, it’s only for me.
Toledo, Ohio
Overheard by: dieting
Customer #1: Do you have Freaky Friday?
Clerk: Yes, we have it on DVD and VHS for rental only.
Customer #1: Okay, I’ll take one to buy.
Clerk: We only have it to rent.
Customer #1: Where is the one for sale?
Clerk: We only have it to rent. There are none for sale for that title.
Customer #1: Well, you should have said something in the first place!
Customer #2: Wow… You are really that dumb, huh?
Video store
Massachusetts
Overheard by: Dudette
Employee #1: How do you like your new office? Is the glare from the lights a problem? If so, I can twist the bulbs like I did in that other office.
Employee #2: That sounds kind of kinky.
Employee #1: Yeah!
Chicago, Illinois
Homeboy customer: Yo, gots any mothafuckin’ shelves?
Employee: Did he just say what I thought he said? [Coworker nods.]Homeboy customer: Yo, man! I said, I need some mothafuckin’ shelves fo’ my mothafuckin’ clothes!
Employee, pointing: Yeah, right down that mothafuckin’ aisle.
Home repair store
Whitehall, Pennsylvania
Employee #1: So, we went to Long John Silver’s last night for the first time.
Employee #2: Did you bring your horse?
Employee #3: No, that was ‘Hi Ho Silver.’
Employee #2: It was?
Preston Avenue
Livermore, California
Overheard by: Still cryin
Manager: Oh, oh! Are you coughing?
Gagging cube rat: No… I’m… Choking…
Manager, walking on: Oh, good, I thought you were getting sick, too.
4th Street
Louisville, Kentucky
