Partner: Call Greg* and have him look over these documents.
Associate: Greg had surgery yesterday and is in the hospital. Do you want to call someone else to review them?
Partner: No, Greg can do it. It’s not like he’s dead.
Associate: Okay, I’ll call him in the morning.
Partner: No, call him now. It’s not like he has anything better to do tonight.
Law firm, 1201 Elm Street
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: jennifer
Bookstore clerk: Hehe, there’s a book called The Idiot?
Barnes & Noble
Emeryville, California
Professor: You will have those students that don’t show up to class or office hours, or that don’t care about their grades. What causes this?
TA: Global warming?
University of Texas
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: underpaid TA
Lawyer: I’m going to court. Hold down the fort, Ben.
Ben: OK, you got it.
Lawyer: Don’t let those Apaches in!
50 East 42nd Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: marco
Phone rep: Can I get your name?
Customer: [Mumbles.]Phone rep: I don’t think I got that. Did that start with a ‘K’… as in ‘cat’?
Austin, Texas
40-ish supervisor: You’re listening to the Bee Gees? Wasn’t Leif Garrett in the Bee Gees?
20-ish employee #1: All I know is that someone in the group committed suicide.
20-ish employee #2: No, Leif Garrett was in the Beatles.
1241 Dyer Road
Santa Ana, California
Receptionist: it's too hot. i think i might die.
Boss: You will not die. People have survived thousand of years without air conditioner.
Receptionist: And where are all those people now? Dead! That's where.
Los Angeles, California
Employee #1: I was just printing that thing you asked for!
Employee #2: This isn’t what I asked for.
Employee #1: Yes, it is — it’s hotel information.
Employee #2: It is, but I asked you for information on a meeting.
Employee #1: Okay…
Employee #2: … And you printed hotel information.
Employee #1: Right.
Employee #2, sighing: Where is the meeting information?
Employee #1: Oh! The meeting! You should have just said that in the first place, silly!
Employee #2: I– Just forget it.
Employee #1: Okie dokie!
Waltham, Massachusetts
Worker #1: Today is the longest day of sunshine.
Worker #2: What if it rains?
Worker #1: The sun doesn’t go down when it rains.
Worker #2: But it’s not out.
Worker #1: Yeah, but it doesn’t go down! … You are so pretty!
Portland, Texas
Overheard by: Kayte
Caller: I’m having contractions!
911 operator: Are you pregnant?
201 Spring Street
Springdale, Arizona
Overheard by: push, push
