Newbie: Did you know Matt Goldberg used to be a singer?
Employee: Who?
Newbie: Mark Goldberg?
Employee: You mean Mark Wahlberg?
Newbie: Yeah! That’s it!
5100 Spectrum Way
Mississauga, Ontario
Canadia
Newbie: Did you know Matt Goldberg used to be a singer?
Employee: Who?
Newbie: Mark Goldberg?
Employee: You mean Mark Wahlberg?
Newbie: Yeah! That’s it!
5100 Spectrum Way
Mississauga, Ontario
Canadia
Store clerk: So you're from Canada. Is it really quiet there?
Customer: Well, I guess that depends on where you live. I live in a large city, Toronto.
Store clerk: They have cities in Canada?
Northern Michigan
Publisher rep: This guy did a study on blind men who use prostitutes.
Book buyer: Ok.
Publisher rep, whispering: For sex.
308 Westwood Plaza
Los Angeles, California
Girl reporter: So he said, ‘I hope you people fall into acid!’ Who wishes that?
Guy reporter: Wow, intense.
Girl reporter: Yeah. But the logistics — who fills the baby pool with acid?
Guy reporter: The terminator fell into acid in T2.
Girl reporter: The Riddler… No, the Joker fell into acid.
Guy reporter: He lived though.
Girl reporter: And tried to kill Batman. So, see? People falling into acid works out badly for the rest of us.
500 West Jefferson Street
Monroe, North Carolina
Accounting Clerk on phone: I’m sorry, she no longer works here. Could I take a message?
3850 Three Mile Lane
McMinnville, Oregon
Coworker: I’m not gonna be no teacher.
1225 Warren Street
St. Louis, Missouri
Student: Hi! I need to get a list of course requirements so I can fill out this form, please.
Receptionist: Okay, we’ll just need a copy of the form first.
Student: But I need the requirements to fill out the form…
Receptionist: I’m sorry, we don’t work in hypotheticals.
Student: Um… okay… What was it in the past?
Receptionist: We don’t file them that way. We’ll need a copy of the form.
Student: So you need this form filled out so you can give me the list that I need to fill out the form?
Receptionist: Yes!
Dunster Street
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Peon: Will there be an agenda at the holiday party?
42 Broadway
New York, New York
Sales girl: Oh my God, this girl came in today and she was from, like, China or something, and on the credit card receipt she signed her name in, like, Japanese!
Manager: Ew! You're in America! Come on, learn English!
Ithaca, New York
Man at photo kiosk: I just finished sending my selections and edits through, and then it froze.
Worker: Hmm. Locked up. Happens a lot. All the info is gone, unfortunately.
Man: I spent 45 minutes here, doing this.
Worker: I’m sorry. Here’s a $3-off coupon for next time.
Man: Three bucks for 45 minutes?
Worker’s cell phone rings. He walks away.
Avon Target
Avon, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
