Middle-aged customer: Give me two packs of them Basic cigarettes.
Sales clerk rings up cigarettes and register beeps: It wants me to check your ID.
Middle-aged customer: I don’t have no ID.
Sales clerk: How old are you?
Middle-aged customer: Uh. Um. 40… 50… 50-something.
Sales clerk: Okay, $9.75.
Walgreens, 5650 West Belmont Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Clerk behind counter: Has anyone given you anything to carry on or placed anything in your bags that you aren’t aware of?
Passenger: How would I know?
American Airlines Terminal
Kennedy Airport, New York
Overheard by: Paul V.
Sales Rep: Could you get me a UPS freight rate to send this to Annapolis, Maryland?
Secretary: …That’ll cost $35.
Sales Rep: That’s not bad.
Secretary: I thought it would be more. Isn’t Maryland, like, in another country?
Sales Rep: You’re fucking kidding, right?
Secretary: No, Maryland is another country, isn’t it?
Sales Rep: Unbelievable.
3525 Mitchell Road
Ceres, California
Man describing adoption of Chinese kid: .. And eventually you get a baby’s photo and a medical history…
Hick female photographer: But let me ask you, what do you do if she’s ugly?
Man: … What did your parents do?
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Employee #1: Why is it so cold in here?
Employee #2: Maybe it’s the gigantic hole in the ceiling.
4770 Buford Highway
Atlanta, Georgia
Functionally retarded janitor: This job really needs some strippers.
Engineer: You could get a night job at a strip club.
Functionally retarded janitor: But those places fire you when you try to touch the girls.
Senlac Drive
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: This Company Needs to Do Better Background Checks
Employee: Hey, Bertha*, can you help me send a fax? It’s been so long since I’ve had to use this.
Bertha: Okay, well, put your document face up here, and then enter the number here, and press “start.”
Employee: What number?
Bertha: The fax number you’re sending to?
Employee: Oh, am I supposed to know that?
208 Raleigh Street
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Overheard by: snoopdude
Employee #1, reading newspaper: This guy’s name is Poon Tang! I can’t believe they printed his name!
Employee #2: Isn’t Poon Tang something they said on The Little Rascals?
Knoxville, Tennessee
Co-worker: He could do that job with one eye shut and one eye tied behind his back.
Rubislaw House
Anderson Drive
Aberdeen, Aberdeenshire
UK
Cube dweller #1: What is Gerald* doing?
Cube dweller #2: Re-routing the booter.
250 Main Street
Buffalo, New York
