Peon: Oh my god! Who made the coffee?
Secretary: I did. What's wrong with it?
Peon: This stuff is like liquid crack!
Secretary: You're such a sissy. You added half a cup of blueberry creamer!
Peon: Seriously, I think I'm having chest pains. Call 911!
Bangor, Michigan
Overheard by: Love my coffee
Boss: So why did they start having this weekly meeting anyway?
Co-worker: It started out with all of us sitting around eating pizza, talking casually; you know, just shooting the fan.
525 East 68th Street
New york, NY
Ex-Army: I’m dumb as a rock and I still graduated number two in my class.
Ex-Marine: That’s the Army for you.
250 South Country Fair Drive
Champaign, Illinois
Overheard by: zundian
Office lady, peering into the copier: Ew, how many white ones did I produce? Oh, good. Not that many.
1819 NW Everett Street
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Schmoozer
White girl: Jesus, I just got called a nigger!
Filipino girl: What? On your break?
White girl: Yeah! And by a black person. Homeless. Wouldn’t give her money. I’m about as cracker as you get… total whitey. I mean, I’m wearing Banana Republic.
1900 Broadway
Oakland, California
Genius: Sometimes the staples are just hanging there, and someone could get hurt.
68 Marginal Way
Portland, Maine
Waitress #1: I hate working here.
Waitress #2: Then why do you?
Waitress #1: Because, I bought a condo in San Diego, and now I have to work here on the weekends to make sure my mortgage is paid.
Waitress #2: Can’t you just return it? Or sell it back?
Waitress #1: I don’t have the receipt.
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Stephanie Burns
Employee #1: There’s a fire in the kitchen!
Employee #2: Should we call the fire department or pull the alarm or something?
Employee #3: No, because they’ll make us evacuate.
259 Prospect Plains Road
Cranbury, New Jersey
Associate: Thank you for calling the Houston gonorrhea. Can I help you?
Houston, Texas
HR person, filling out paperwork for new employee: I need to know the name of the bank to direct deposit your check to.
New employee, dumbfounded: Um, shoot, I can’t remember it. Oh, it’s the one connected to the liquor store!
Hanson Avenue
Albert Lea, Minnesota
