Office grunt: I never realized how hard metal was.
2201 Main Street
Williamsville, New York
Office grunt: I never realized how hard metal was.
2201 Main Street
Williamsville, New York
Secretary to lawyer: Was that your condom they found on the second floor of the parking garage?
Cleveland, Ohio
Coworker #1: Where are we supposed to meet for the tornado drill?
Coworker #2: Beth* said that we can just stay at our desks because we’re already in the basement. She’ll come around and do a head count.
Coworker #1: So we don’t have to go outside, then?
Coworker #2: Um… no.
7000 Portage Road
Kalamazoo, Michigan
Overheard by: Snark Monster
Government employee #1, explaining the organization: Yeah, we do a lot of work with countries in Africa and South America… Countries without functioning democracies…
Government employee #2: But wait — we’ve worked with England and Japan, too. It’s not just the B-list countries.
Government employee #3: Wait, aren’t all countries B-list in relation to the U.S.?
666 11th Street NW
Washington, DC
Mechanic: You smell like sex.
Female coworker: You mean I smell like you want to have sex with me? Or I smell like I just had sex? ‘Cause… ‘Cause there’s a big difference.
Mechanic: Oh, the first one. You smell like I want to have sex with you.
Female coworker: Oh. I want to have sex with you, too.
Mechanic: [Silence.]Female coworker: … I mean, you smell. [Walks away with confused look on her face.]
Westchester, New York
Overheard by: He did kind of smell … like sex.
Woman: Oh, I love that place!
Man: Wait, which place?
Woman: I don’t know, whatever place you were just talking about.
Laurel Street
Fort Collins, Colorado
Bailiff: Okay, I think we need a Jewish interpreter over here! What did you say? Hay broo? Okay, whatever.
141 Livingston Street
Brooklyn, New York
Peon: Oh my god! Who made the coffee?
Secretary: I did. What's wrong with it?
Peon: This stuff is like liquid crack!
Secretary: You're such a sissy. You added half a cup of blueberry creamer!
Peon: Seriously, I think I'm having chest pains. Call 911!
Bangor, Michigan
Overheard by: Love my coffee
Boss: So why did they start having this weekly meeting anyway?
Co-worker: It started out with all of us sitting around eating pizza, talking casually; you know, just shooting the fan.
525 East 68th Street
New york, NY
Ex-Army: I’m dumb as a rock and I still graduated number two in my class.
Ex-Marine: That’s the Army for you.
250 South Country Fair Drive
Champaign, Illinois
Overheard by: zundian
