Co-worker: I was trying to fix the report, but it is unedible.
Boss: It doesn’t taste good?
222 Severn Avenue
Annapolis, Maryland
Overheard by: Tits McGee
Co-worker: I was trying to fix the report, but it is unedible.
Boss: It doesn’t taste good?
222 Severn Avenue
Annapolis, Maryland
Overheard by: Tits McGee
Blonde peon: Oooh, this song is so pretty! I love it.
Male coworker: What, the ‘Star-Spangled Banner’?
Blonde peon: No, the national anthem.
9055 East Mineral Circle
Centennial, Colorado
Overheard by: Aaron M Gomez
Female clerk: My nipples itch… Someone must be thinking about me.
Male doctor: What?!?
Female clerk: Isn’t that what they say? When your nipples itch someone is thinking about you?
Male doctor: Nooooooo…
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Who-la-hey
Office grunt: I never realized how hard metal was.
2201 Main Street
Williamsville, New York
Secretary to lawyer: Was that your condom they found on the second floor of the parking garage?
Cleveland, Ohio
Coworker #1: Where are we supposed to meet for the tornado drill?
Coworker #2: Beth* said that we can just stay at our desks because we’re already in the basement. She’ll come around and do a head count.
Coworker #1: So we don’t have to go outside, then?
Coworker #2: Um… no.
7000 Portage Road
Kalamazoo, Michigan
Overheard by: Snark Monster
Government employee #1, explaining the organization: Yeah, we do a lot of work with countries in Africa and South America… Countries without functioning democracies…
Government employee #2: But wait — we’ve worked with England and Japan, too. It’s not just the B-list countries.
Government employee #3: Wait, aren’t all countries B-list in relation to the U.S.?
666 11th Street NW
Washington, DC
Mechanic: You smell like sex.
Female coworker: You mean I smell like you want to have sex with me? Or I smell like I just had sex? ‘Cause… ‘Cause there’s a big difference.
Mechanic: Oh, the first one. You smell like I want to have sex with you.
Female coworker: Oh. I want to have sex with you, too.
Mechanic: [Silence.]Female coworker: … I mean, you smell. [Walks away with confused look on her face.]
Westchester, New York
Overheard by: He did kind of smell … like sex.
Woman: Oh, I love that place!
Man: Wait, which place?
Woman: I don’t know, whatever place you were just talking about.
Laurel Street
Fort Collins, Colorado
Bailiff: Okay, I think we need a Jewish interpreter over here! What did you say? Hay broo? Okay, whatever.
141 Livingston Street
Brooklyn, New York
