Dumb Bosses

Boss: So what would be the wider business implamications of this?

Canberra
Australia

Overheard by: glad she wasn’t in that meeting

Boss: Wait, what’s ‘fornication’? I don’t know that word. Is it like fighting?
Coworker: Uh, no. It’s like sex.

Roselle, Illinois

Overheard by: my vocabulary is better than yours

Boss: We won’t do it wrong. We’ll just do it a different way that won’t be right.

Anchorage, Alaska

Overheard by: Mark

Boss looking at her new laptop: There are too many keys.

Bank
New York

Overheard by: Tjay

Boss on speaker phone: So I need you to give me those files, like, in five minutes.
Employee: Um.
Boss: I’m serious. I want them in my hand in five minutes.
Employee: You know that I work at home, right?
Boss: So?
Employee: So I live forty-five minutes away from your so-called “office”…Speaking of which, did you ever get that toilet out of the hallway?

3207 Hayloft Court
Frederick, Maryland

Overheard by: Ren

Head trainer: Let’s face it, if you could be all that you could be, you wouldn’t be working here…
Class: [Silence.]Trainee #1: [Applause.]Trainees #2 and #3: [Applause.]

Mutual of America, 320 Park Avenue
New York, New York

Manager: So, I need to ship something to Belgium. Belgium is in the Netherlands, right?

15585 Highway 11 N
Cottondale, Alabama

Overheard by: BAMA

Manager: I hate it when black people make a big deal about being black when they accept awards. It’s like the Holocaust; they have to get over it.

4189 Route 9
Freehold, New Jersey

Overheard by: Robert Max Freeman

Art director, peeling an orange: I wish homeless people smelled like oranges.

Oak Lawn Avenue
Dallas, Texas

Semi-boss: No, I mean, I just misspelled every single word and, like, inverted letters and stuff.
Assistant: Maybe your hands were in the wrong place on the keyboard… Or maybe you have that thing that Tom Cruise has.
Semi-boss: Scientology?

Newark, Delaware