Jeff*: Liz*, can you come here?
Liz: Are you going to fire me?
Jeff: I can’t — you’re my supervisor.
Liz: What? No, I’m not. You’re my supervisor.
Jeff: …But if I’m your supervisor, and you’re my supervisor, which one of us is really in charge?
Liz: That depends… If it’s you, are you going to fire me?
Jeff: No.
Liz: Then it’s you.
Jeff: Awesome.
6105 Oakleaf Avenue
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Ren
Boss: So what school did you go to again?
Worker: The University of Illinois.
Boss: Right…that's an Ivy League school, right?
Worker: (stunned silence)
Boston, Massachusetts
Employee: Can I help you?
Customer: Hi. Yes, may I have a turkey artichoke panini?
Employee: No.
Customer: No?
Employee: No. We don’t have those.
Customer: But it’s right there on your board. Do you mean you ran out of them today?
Employee: Yeah, that’s what I said. Order the other turkey sandwich, it’s exactly the same.
Customer: Actually I think I’ll just have a salad.
Employee: I’ll be right back. [Goes in back room.]Employee: Did you hear what I just said back there?
Customer: Ummm… No.
Employee: Good. I mean, cause it wasn’t about you.
Customer: Ok…
Panera Bread Co.
Tysons Corner, Virginia
CEO: It’s like the dog and the tail. The tail is the reward and happiness. The dog is how you get there, the hard work.
460 Phillip Street
Waterloo, Ontario
Canadia
Office clerk: Wait, this doesn’t look right.
Manager: It has to be right -it’s highlighted.
Office clerk: Maybe someone highlighted the wrong thing, because that’s not right.
Manager: I highlighted it.
Office clerk: Well, I think it may be wrong.
Manager: It can’t be wrong. It’s highlighted.
5th Avenue
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Saw the Light
Law student #1: I can’t believe the parents in that case named their kid Adolph!
Law student #2: Uh… That case was from 1850…
Law student #1: So?
699 Exposition Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: TAJ
Branch manager: What do you want me to do? Do you want me to fire him? I’ll fire anyone — I don’t care!
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Company president: I love the photo [of a blonde girl on the beach] you used on this brochure. It’s perfect. But can you keep the same photo and just make her black instead?
Columbia, South Carolina
Overheard by: Office Peon
Old white lady: Excuse me, where do you keep your knickers?
White supervisor, nervously: What? I don’t have any…
Clothing store
Ocala, Florida
Suit: It’s been a big thing. I’ve sent a bunch of emails about it.
Boss: Yeah, I’ve ignored them. Sorry.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: It’s not my project
