Writer: Why do you still have clothes on?
Editor: I'm not drunk enough yet.
Writer: Keep drinking!
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: Is that legal?
Waitress to customer: Can I get you something to drink?
Customer: We've never been to Moab before, so we don't know what we want to drink.
Restaurant
Moab, Utah
Boss: I got two boxes of candy, 13 kinds of beer, 28 bottles of alcohol, 25 pounds of carne asada, 3 kinds of ribs, Pink's hot dogs, 6 Cornish game hens, and Angus hamburgers. I think we're set for the barbecue tomorrow. Oh, I forgot to tell you, they're filming another porno here on Saturday. Tell all your friends to come.
Los Angeles, California
Receptionist: I slept a lot this weekend, 'cuz I drank a lot, you know? I woke up at 5:30 yesterday afternoon, which, you know, just hurt my feelings.
Boss: What?
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: freudian flip
Female coworker: I just shaved my armpits, and now I'm drunk!
Kansas City, Missouri
Coworker on cell: You've spent twenty minutes telling me how hammered you've been for the last eight days, and now you're drinking Bourbon in my bed, something I've never done…
Collegeville, Pennsylvania
Senior editor to junior editor: Sure, he's a great writer. But he drinks his own pee.
Halifax
Nova Scotia
Canadia
Coworker #1: You made your own bed, dude.
Coworker #2, pouting: I know! But that's what I do when I'm drunk. I make beds!
Seattle, Washington
(worker #1 opens can of Monster energy drink)
Worker #2: Wow, I can smell your monster from over here.
Knob Noster, Missouri
Overheard by: Jason
Slutty waitress: My baby daughter is driving me insane!
Waiter: That'll teach you to pass out at parties.
(slutty waitress glares, storms off)
Waiter, shrugging: Well, it should.
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
