Office manager: Oh, come on, alcohol is alcohol and drugs are drugs, you know, Angela.
Really old cleaning lady: Oh, okay.
Manhattan, New York
Office manager: Oh, come on, alcohol is alcohol and drugs are drugs, you know, Angela.
Really old cleaning lady: Oh, okay.
Manhattan, New York
Office girl #1: Man, I’m really bored. I know what we should do… [Looks around] Aw, we don’t have any glue, do we?
Office girl #2, confused and horrified: Um…
610 SW Broadway
Portland, Oregon
Pregnant coworker: Do you see this? I’m writing my name on the milk container so she won’t drink out of it! I should probably label it “breast milk”.
Male coworker: That might not stop her.
Huntington, New York
Brunette: So, like, she was totally found dead in her office.
Blonde: Omigod! Shut up!
Brunette: Ya. Like, Dr Wong found her dead one morning.
Blonde: Omigod! Shut up!
Brunette: It’s kind of fitting. I mean, she totally lived here at work anyway.
Blonde: Omigod! I would so totally die if someone found me dead in my office!
University of California, Davis
Overheard by: Research Monkey
Male coworker: I hate forgetting my phone when I poop.
Female coworker: What?!
Male coworker: I'd rather not have toilet paper than not have my phone.
Chico, California
CSR #1: Don’t make fun of me, but where is San Francisco?
CSR #2, laughing: What? Are you serious? We have an office there!
CSR #1: I said don’t make fun of me!
CSR #2: California, Lisa*. It’s in California.
Fishers, Indiana
Overheard by: Geography is not her best subject
Boss: Alright everyone, I’m leaving for the day. Everyone knows my cell phone number, right?
Peon: 1-800-sex?
Northern Iowan
Cedar Falls, Iowa
Staff worker addressing manager just returned from long vacation: Oh. Hi, I was going to come see you, but I thought I would wait until you were inseminated.
Manhattan, New York
Senior accountant to auditors: Well, you see I am just not that good with numbers.
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Receptionist
