Contracts officer: Frankly, I think she’ll be tickled shitless…I could have said she’d be shittled titless, but I thought that would be offensive.
HR lady: This meeting has now offically gone on too long.
1010 North Glebe Road
Arlington, Virginia
Contracts officer: Frankly, I think she’ll be tickled shitless…I could have said she’d be shittled titless, but I thought that would be offensive.
HR lady: This meeting has now offically gone on too long.
1010 North Glebe Road
Arlington, Virginia
Female co-worker: My uncle just bought a condom in Brooklyn. It’s a real nice place.
Male co-worker: Really?
Female co-worker: Uh huh.
99 Church Street
New York, New York
Coworker to another: You should let him go first, he has a bigger one to pull out.
Los Angeles, California
Coder #1: I liked the fix you did on that bug.
Coder #2: When in doubt, just take away access from the user. It’s a fascist approach, but I swear by it.
Coder #1: Right…
141 West 28th Street
New York, NY
Coworker to another: My son got into GATE classes… He's not even smart!
Orange County, California
Office man trying to help lady with machinery: Wait, you need to put it in the hole!
Frustrated lady: What do you mean? I never have had to look for any hole!
Office man: Well, I know that's true.
Austin, Texas
Female coworker #1, quietly: So have you had any success yet?
Female coworker #2, quietly: No, she won't let me anywhere near her feet.
Female coworker #1: Okay. I'll tell you what you've got to do. (whispers furtively)
Chili, New York
Overheard by: NewGirl
Office girl #1: Anyway, that's how this giant hoo-hah got started in the first place.
(snickering comes from nearby cubicles)
Office girl #1: What? Did I use the wrong word?
Office girl #2: Well, that depends on what you're talking about.
Boss man: I think you mean 'hoopla,” but you basically just said “giant vagina.”
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: freudianflip
Guy in elevator: So I had to go buy new shoelaces over lunch.
Girl in elevator: It's about time. You've been lacing them too tight for weeks. Makes me crazy.
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: what
