Co-worker #1: God! I hate it when those two have to work together! It’s so painful. It’s like watching a monkey and a dolphin try to build a house.
Co-worker #2: I think you underestimate the communication skills of wildlife.
150 Broadway
New York, NY
Employee #1: Don’t you hate it when your anorexia kicks in?
Employee #2: What?
Employee #1: When you see things backwards.
Employee #2: Dyslexia.
423 West 8th Street
Kansas City, Missouri
Guy: Why the hell is my computer running so slow?…Ah! here it is: “System Idle Process” is taking up 98% of my CPU…fucking Microsoft…
1701 North Street
Endicott, New York
Co-worker: Let me grab that package later since, right now, I’m double-fisting.
11400 W. Olympic Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: lonecomic
Co-worker #1: How do I make this print faster?
Co-worker #2: Put water on it.
10960 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Selaf Nek
Office girl: Why don’t we recycle here?
Office guy: Because we’re fucking trying to eliminate winter!
740 Dundas Street E
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Building service: Coffee’s shit, man.
White collar: Yeah. Gotta work, though.
The building service person snorts an imaginary line from the countertop.
Building service: Dat’s da shit you need, man. Coke id up.
1114 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY
Worker #1: Congratulations on your engagement and your new job! When is your last day?
Worker #2: Next Wednesday, thanks.
Worker #3: Are you leaving so soon because of that pooper ring on your finger?
Worker #2: “Pooper ring”?
Worker #3: Yes, you know…You had to take it in the pooper to get a ring that big.
1600 21st Street NW
Washington, DC
Cube monkey girl: I don't have any gray hairs on my head, but I have a gray patch down there.
Male coworker: Those are cobwebs, not gray hairs.
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Sex Writer Goddess
Coworker #1: Is Corey supervising tonight?
Coworker #2: No. Look. See, he doesn't have pants on.
Trenton, New Jersey
Overheard by: He Does Have Nice Legs.
