Male worker #1, talking about the future: We probably will all be huge fat blobs staring into our computer screens, like in Wall-E.
Female worker: I doubt it. I bet they'll have a drug that makes everybody really attractive.
Male worker #2: They already do! It's called “alcohol.”
Portland, Oregon
Clerk #1: They said there was problems on the 4 and 5–what does that have to do with the 3? Where did the 3 go?
Clerk #2: They said someone threw themselves on the tracks.
Clerk #3: Did what?
Clerk #2: Threw themselves in front of the train–someone wanted to commit hara-kiri.
Clerk #3: Why they got to do that at this time of day? Why does everyone want to kill themselves during rush hour, but nobody wants to do it in the middle of the night, so we can all get to work?
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Innocent Bystander
Female coworker, amazed at spreadsheet: Wow, that's big!
Male coworker, matter-of-factly, with a sly smile: No, it's not that big. I've had bigger.
Minnetonka, Minnesota
Overheard by: I don't wanna know.
Tech on intercom: Who stole Frank's sword?
Coworker down the hall: Frank's sword is covered in latex!
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Vinana
Office girl: My computer just crashed.
Coworker: You can use mine.
Office girl: Thanks.
Coworker: No, you better not touch it. You might break it. (laughs, then pauses) On the other hand, I'd like you to touch it. Touch it as much as you want.
High Point, North Carolina
Cube monkey #1: You?re heading home already?
Haggard telecommuter that came into the office: Yup!
Cube monkey #1: Okay…um…drive safe!
Cube monkey #2: Don't whip the gerbil too hard!
Cube monkey #3: What? I thought he said he was going home?
Billerica, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Boter
Service rep #1: We went to that campsite for the weekend. We really had to rough it out there.
Service rep #2: Oh, yeah? Like how?
Service rep #1: Well, they didn't really have all the anemones.
Cranston, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Mercier3
