Female coworker: Do you have pants on?
Male coworker: What?
Female coworker: Are you wearing pants?
Male coworker: Um… Yes?
Female coworker: Okay, good!
Wilmington, Delaware
Overheard by: Had pants on
Female coworker: Do you have pants on?
Male coworker: What?
Female coworker: Are you wearing pants?
Male coworker: Um… Yes?
Female coworker: Okay, good!
Wilmington, Delaware
Overheard by: Had pants on
Male coworker #1: My hands are unusually soft and supple today.
Male coworker #2, putting on lotion: Now mine will be too! You got me in the mood!
Irvine, California
Overheard by: mikkele
Octogenarian lobby help desk guy: I have a joke for you.
Hot 20-something: Is it appropriate?
Octogenarian lobby help desk guy: Yes, of course it is.
Hot 20-something: Alright.
Octogenarian lobby help desk guy: So there were two strippers…
Hot 20-something: (walks away)
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: waiting for the rest of the joke.
Blonde, ditzy coworker: Well, why would they send gloves? Babies are born without thumbs. Even I know that, and I don't have any children!
Westport, Connecticut
Remote office: DC, have you got it up yet?
DC office: We've got it up, now we're trying to make it bigger.
Washington, DC
Female bookseller: How long does it usually take to get your deposit back on an apartment?
Male bookseller: It could be two or three months, depending on how big of an asshole they want to be.
Female bookseller: Hm. (pause) Yeah, I prefer smaller assholes.
Bookstore
Des Moines, Iowa
Mailroom boy #1: And they say chivalry's dead.
Mailroom boy #2: What's “chivalry”?
Omaha, Nebraska
Male coworker to female coworker: Hey, do you ever play golf?
Female coworker: No, I don't play with balls that small.
(male coworker chokes on drink)
Bellevue, Nebraska
Female coworker #1: I smell fish. Do you smell fish?
Female coworker #2: I do. How 'bout you start washing your vag more often than you wash your car?
Geneva General Hospital
Geneva, New York
Overheard by: Molly Guns
Cube rat #1: My son asked me last night what happens if the President dies. Does the Vice President really take over? I wasn't sure what to tell him.
Cube rat #2: Yeah, I believe that is what happens, or maybe they hold another election to re-choose the President.
Cube rat #1: I guess it is hard to tell, since it has never happened before.
Cube rat #2: Yep.
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Poking my eyes out
